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February 1 - February 7, 2019
spoke some
classroom Spanish,
just
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enough to get in ...
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started to get uncomfortable, but I was not about to give in to that scared person inside.
just relaxed more deeply into my yoga posture, and the anxiety subsided.
core of self-discipline
ridding myself of that scared person inside of me.
I closed my eyes tighter as an act of defiance and took a deep breath.
demanded a state of relaxation in the midst of the drama.
had clearly seen that it was this scared person inside of me who was holding me back from where I so desperately wanted to go.
took a deep breath and flowed into a full-lotus position. I began the Mu
Which do you care about, outside or inside?
I could understand most of what they were
saying—and
to stop letting that scared person run my life.
adobe huts with thatched roofs.
seen a mud hut with a roof made of straw.
The huts were dirt floored and had nothing but square openings for windows. There were no doors in the door openings or windows in the window openings.
the joy of helping people.
had let go of myself and something very special had followed.
was willing to face loneliness and fear and not grab for relief.
Was it possible that life had more to give us than we could ever take for ourselves?
the discipline of my ever-increasing practices, and a minimal amount of food.
Nothing
was left in me that wanted to be an economics professor.
everything in life has something to teach you and that it is all for your growth.
when I did show up, I was barefooted and in jeans.
knew my mental state was not conducive to going to the library and trying to learn enough to write a great paper.
kept my personal self out
totally logical presentation that
began with a premise, laid out its argument, and ended with a conclusion.
I only knew that in the flash of a moment, I had all the material I needed to write a doctoral-level paper.
It came spontaneously, in total silence, with no effort or commotion.
one can constantly live in that
state of creative inspiration.
It was like having fallen madly in love and not being able to see your beloved.
decided to just keep my eyes open to see if something would show up by itself.
Something did.
full fellowship,
told myself that if the seller wouldn’t come down to my price, it wasn’t meant to be.
that sense of detachment gave me the
“Every day bite off more than
you can chew, and chew it.”
All I had wanted was a simple place to fully focus on my meditations. What I got was a gift from the invisible hand
that had taken over my life.
the invisibl...
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intense discipline of Zen meditation.
The less I ate, the
awoke naturally at 3:00 a.m. every morning to start the regimen again.
