Bound by Hatred (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles #3)

by Cora Reilly

It was pretty much standard that the bride was forced into marriage, so unhappiness was a given. Nobody ever asked what we wanted. Nobody ever cared. Not even the other women.

“Don’t be a killjoy, Red. I wonder if you are red down there too?” He pointed between my legs. My lips curled in disgust. As if I hadn’t heard those words before. The acne guy snorted with laughter. “We could try to find out.” Suddenly Matteo was there. He gripped the tall guy in a headlock and held a sharp long knife to the guy’s crotch. “Or,” he said in an eerily calm voice. “We could try to find out how long it takes for you to bleed out like a pig after I cut your dick off. How about that?” I used the moment to ram my knee into acne guy’s balls.

Two days later my father and Scuderi came to an agreement and Gianna was mine. Now I just had to figure out a good time to tell her.

I’d never hated anyone as much as I hated the man in front of me, and yet part of me, some hopeful, stupid, weak part loved him.

I’d never considered suicide a valid option, had never felt miserable enough to do it, but sometimes it felt like the only choice I had left in my life, the only way to decide my own fate and to ruin Father’s plans was actually when to end it. But I’d never actually go through with it. I couldn’t hurt my siblings like that, and regardless of my hopeless future, I clung to life too much.

I stared at my sister, my beautiful, brave sister. I’d often thought we were twins who’d been born apart by some cruel twist of fate. She was the one person I’d die for. And if she’d asked me to stay, told me she couldn’t live without me, I wouldn’t even have hesitated. I’d have stayed, would have married Matteo. For her. But Aria would never ask that of me. Aria was the one thing that reminded me that there was good in our world too, and I hoped she’d never let the darkness around us corrupt her.

If she liked to play with fire, fine. I didn’t mind getting burned. I’d walk through flames for her.

Nobody had ever looked at me like that, like I was the only source of water in a time of drought. And by God, I enjoyed it.

And I didn’t even need to pretend. This was my home now, or it was supposed to be. Of course it didn’t feel like it. It had been a long time since any place had felt like home. In the last few months of my living there, even my parents’ house hadn’t felt like one anymore.

Maybe I was dead to them, but they were dead to me too.

Love is when you feel safe in someone’s arms, when he’s the first thing you want to see in the morning, love is surrendering. You risk getting hurt but you don’t care. You are willing to give someone the power to break your heart. Love means seeing someone at their worst and still seeing the good in them, love means someone is perfect for you despite their imperfections.”

“I guess then that means I don’t care enough. Because letting you go? That’s the one thing I’ll never do.”

“You can’t compare Aria to Gianna. They are like two different species. And I trust Aria absolutely. She caught a fucking bullet for me.” “Must be nice,” I muttered. “Gianna would probably applaud my shooter.”

“I don’t want to love you,” I whispered as I jerked to a halt, clenching my eyes shut. But I did. I did love Matteo.

I kissed her again. I’d never get enough of tasting her. “I love you, Gianna. I’ve fucking loved you for a long time.”

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so happy. I’d thought admitting my feelings to anyone would give that person more power over me, but instead I felt freer than I had in a long time. I’d fought my emotions for so long, had held myself back for no good reason.

It had taken a long time but I realized I could feel free, be free, even when I was bound to Matteo.