Girl in Pieces

by Kathleen Glasgow

Our subconscious is spectacularly agile. Sometimes it knows when to take us away, as a kind of protection. I hope that makes sense.”

Brains constantly try to take care of us the only way they know how, which isn't always the best.

My body is on fire all the time, burning me away day and night. I have to cut the black heat out. When I clean myself, wash and mend, I feel better. Cooler inside and calm. Like moss feels, when you get far back in the woods.

But the fucked-up part is once you start self-harming, you can never not be a creepy freak, because your whole body is now a scarred and charred battlefield and nobody likes that on a girl, nobody will love that, and so all of us, every one, is screwed, inside and out. Wash, rinse, fucking repeat.

I don't think your deemed a creep just deemed broken or unsaveable when that's far from the truth.

I cut because I can’t deal. It’s as simple as that. The world becomes an ocean, the ocean washes over me, the sound of water is deafening, the water drowns my heart, my panic becomes as large as planets. I need release, I need to hurt myself more than the world can hurt me, and then I can comfort myself.

Hurting your self so others can't hurt you first:(

School, it turns out, is super easy once you remove all the other kids, asshole teachers, and disgusting shit that goes on.

Don’t let the cereal eat you. It’s only a fucking box of cereal, but it will eat you alive if you let it.”

I've let the cereal eat me too many times to count unfortunately

“Everything and everybody that’s busted can be fixed.

heck yeah it just takes time and work

“That’s how hearts get broken, you know. When you believe in promises.”

hearts get broken when you trust others blindly

There is the person people see on the outside and then there is the person on the inside and then, even farther down, is that other, buried person, a naked and silent creature, not used to light.

For letting myself get smaller and smaller in the hopes that he would notice me more. But how can someone notice you if you keep getting smaller?

:(

“Everyone has that moment, I think, the moment when something so…momentous happens that it rips your very being into small pieces. And then you have to stop. For a long time, you gather your pieces. And it takes such a very long time, not to fit them back together, but to assemble them in a new way, not necessarily a better way. More, a way you can live with until you know for certain that this piece should go there, and that one there.”

I remember that moment for me it felt like someone died and I was mourning, but the bitch was still alive and continuing to hurt others.

Cutting is a fence you build upon your own body to keep people out but then you cry to be touched. But the fence is barbed. What then?

battle scars that show your mind was unkind

People should know about us. Girls who write their pain on their bodies.