So suffering well in a place that doesn’t believe in suffering means less suffering, controlled or contained suffering, suffering that doesn’t color everything else, barely visible suffering, suffering with manageable consequence that doesn’t include more suffering if possible. Competence is the opposite of struggle, in other words. Struggle in a place like ours is demeaning beyond a certain point, humiliating, beneath us, without merit. As the old joke goes, the definition of a schmuck is somebody who, when you ask how he’s doing, tells you.