More than Happy: The Wisdom of Amish Parenting

by Serena B. Miller

From what I’ve seen, most Amish people are secretly romantics at heart. From the oldest to the very young, they believe in an enduring love between one man and one woman for life. Old women and old men can, and often do, lovingly recount details of their own courtship—even if that courtship took place sixty years ago.

There is no babysitting service at an Amish church. A little boy who had been sitting with his mother decided that he wanted to go sit with his grandpa. With her permission, he scampered across the open space where the preacher was standing. No one seemed to care.

Instead of comments about how beautiful the bride was, I heard people remark upon what a good mother she would make, what a good homemaker she would be. I heard comments about what a hard worker he was, and how well they were suited for each other.

The Amish marry for love, but they do not base the longevity of their marriage on romantic love alone. Even if they fall out of love with each other, their values of commitment and dedication to their families help them get through the rough times.”

Happiness in marriage is seen by the Amish as a by-product of a godly life, not a goal in itself.

Without a steady diet of movies, television shows, and Hollywood personalities—with only one another to compare themselves to—the women have a more realistic acceptance of their body image. Amish women and teenage girls don’t compare themselves to professional models and actresses. Nor do the men compare their wives and girlfriends to impossible airbrushed standards.

One of the ironies about what I have heard described as a male-dominated society is that in general, Amish husbands seem to value and respect their wives a good deal more than Englisch husbands.