Gumption: Relighting the Torch of Freedom with America's Gutsiest Troublemakers

by Nick Offerman

Dear Tall Sir, 8/15/14 I want to ask you for a significant favor, and, despite our secret, long-suffering passion for one another, I mean to do so with (approximately) the same pomp with which I have petitioned Oprah Winfrey. I am working on my second book for Dutton Books . . . etc., etc. . . . looking at religion, technology, human rights, nature, guns/war, tobacco, hand-crafting, advertising . . . hopefully with a chuckle. Hilarious, right? Since my list of swell Americans must necessarily be quite subjective, I can’t help but think of you and your, frankly, carnal dance moves and the sense of humor behind which you proffer a mighty intelligence and gentle compassion. I’ll be honest: I intend to lionize you. To supplement my detailed recollection of your rippling abdominals, glistening with sunscreen in the Seattle half-light, I would love to engage you in an interview. If we can nail down a date, I thought it would be really fun to make some sort of destination or adventure out of our interview; nothing too buccaneering, per se, but someplace we’d like to go and rest our weary hindquarters and enjoy a chin-wag. Fresno, I guess, is what I’m driving at. It could be a hike, or a rooftop where Scotch is served, or it could also be your household fire pit or the ridiculously opulent hot tub at our new digs. It’s also worth mentioning that, as you may be aware, my bride, Megan, is doing a Terrence McNally revival (It’s Only a Play) on Broadway from September through the top ...