Gumption: Relighting the Torch of Freedom with America's Gutsiest Troublemakers

by Nick Offerman

George shared this story, which seems to me to have laid the foundation for his ever-expanding generosity toward the human race: At Oak Forest High School, in the 1970s, the food was apparently terrible. “They had the hamburgers in the plastic bags that you would microwave and whatnot.” So the students decided they would organize a walkout. “We were very much in the thrall of Abbie Hoffman and the whole thing [re: the 1969–70 Chicago Conspiracy Trial].” So everything was set to stick it to the man on a Friday morning, but the Thursday night previous it occurred to George that maybe he would tell his dad about it, just in case. So he did. He honestly told his dad they were planning a walkout because the food was so bad. “‘Oh, yeah. Sure, that’s great,’ said Dad. ‘Could I ask you something, though?’” George said to me, “Just like Columbo.” “‘Just one thing. You’ve let the principal know that this food is an issue, right?’” “‘Nah, he wouldn’t listen.’” “‘Oh. Okay. Although you’re kinda setting yourself up a little bit. Because if you walk out and you never tried to solve the problem . . . Anyway, just think about it.’” The next morning, George went in to speak with the principal, Toby Hightower. “‘George, uh, what? What’s goin’ on?’” George hadn’t known that Principal Hightower even knew his name. He soldiered on and explained that the food in the cafeteria was really bad. “‘Well, that’s not acceptable. I’m gonna appoint you head of a commission. Now, I want you to go out to—...