A graduate student of mine tells me, with some heat, “I do plan to have kids one day, but I certainly hope they won’t be the most important thing in my life!” Am I wrong to think that perhaps, if this is how she feels and continues to feel, she ought at least to consider not having kids? I can hear her respond, with equal heat, “But that’s not fair. You wouldn’t say that to a man.” In any case, she will learn soon enough that her honesty isn’t likely to be met with understanding. When Michelle Obama (to name just one prominent, accomplished woman) announces, “I’m a mother first,” she is of
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