All The Things I Never Said

by Mae Krell

You could have a week where nothing but sadness floods your mind and you can’t think of anything and then you can have one day where your mind decides to change and goes wild with happy thoughts of even the stupidest things.

you aren’t feeling the rain all you’re doing is getting wet”

i hope that one day you’ll forget all the pain you’ve endured and just learn to be happy

And every night I am haunted by the fact that all these memories that mean the world to me you probably don’t even remember and how now I don’t matter to you at all

You said you didn’t care for me anymore so you went your way and i went your way too but when you looked my way you saw nothing because to you i had become invisible.

What is more powerful a thought, or a gun? a gun gives the opportunity but a thought pulls the trigger

Her mind was flooded with thoughts of him but unfortunately she couldn’t swim

when you are alone at 3 in the morning everything you have ever tried to forget comes flooding back at once like a tsunami tide and all your demons collide and all you can hope for is that if you close your eyes it’ll all go away But when it doesn’t what do you do then? some people choose to overdose some to drink or to smoke and some take pills because it would be nice to sleep for a while a coma maybe or a long nap anything to escape. anything to get rid of these thoughts these feelings

I loved you but you didn’t love me and sure that was sad but really the worst thing was that even though you knew I loved you you acted like no one did Because your everything was this person who didn’t care about you just like my everything is you and you don’t care about me

They always say “you are what you eat” and then they wonder why I don’t eat at all

we all go mad sometimes and that small break into insanity is actually what keeps us sane.

Not everything can be hidden behind a pair of nice glass doors, you know. after all The doors are transparent and so are the people trying to hide behind them

I kinda believe people die when their fire burns out, you know, that fire that kinda keeps you going.

I guess I think every person is assigned a star that shines on them and tries to help them keep their fire burning for as long they can before that person is ready to join them up there, as their own star.

I am drowning In my own sea of sadness and I could save myself If I just stood up

Even though my heart is dead it still finds a way to beat for you

I finally realized that it wasn't our adventures, the words you said to me or the way your eyes lit up when you spoke of me that I missed It was you and all the little things that made that up and I finally realized that I could never feel this for anyone else because I am obsessively and hopelessly in love with you

sometimes ok is hoping that one day you’ll be “normal” that maybe one day you saying that you’re ok will actually mean that you’re fine

Everything is nothing until you have someone to show it to and share it with

I will walk until my feet are nothing but blisters, cuts and bruises if that means at the end of my journey you’ll be by my side to heal my wounds and tell me It’ll all be ok

And at the moment I first spoke to her, I already knew I would soon spend countless hours attempting to write a poem as beautiful as she is

it intrigues me that there are actually people who are able to jump out of bed every morning all happy and smiling ready to face their day most of the time I go to war with my mind over if I should get up or not and it kills me It starts from the inside and consumes me slowly and eventually I cannot find a way to breathe

Monday doesn’t like us sad kids, it’s the day that it fights us. We don’t wanna leave bed, but it finds a way to hold us down and twist us around like a helpless human being in the center of a hurricane.

maybe if someone would have stuck around when I starved myself they would have seen how I was slowly perishing and helped me get back on my crumbling feet

truth is as much as I tell myself that it's the memories I miss it's actually you. I want you next to me again