All The Things I Never Said

by Mae Krell

Fall; I fell for a boy who always asked me how i was doing and cared for me more than he did for himself but really, he needed more caring than i did

i hope that one day you’ll forget all the pain you’ve endured and just learn to be happy

What is more powerful a thought, or a gun? a gun gives the opportunity but a thought pulls the trigger

3 in the morning is when words are most sincere and eyelids are slowly sinking. the hour when the most genuine thoughts and opinions come out

some people choose to overdose some to drink or to smoke and some take pills because it would be nice to sleep for a while a coma maybe or a long nap anything to escape. anything to get rid of these thoughts these feelings

At 4:21 am I sit in my room and i think about what it would be like to be happy again

Just because something has a nice expensive new looking exterior doesn't mean the interior isn't broken and bent

kinda believe people die when their fire burns out, you know, that fire that kinda keeps you going.

I guess I think every person is assigned a star that shines on them and tries to help them keep their fire burning for as long they can before that person is ready to join them up there, as their own star.

I am drowning In my own sea of sadness and I could save myself If I just stood up

There are good days, and bad days. Today was not a good day, but honestly, today was not a bad day either. Today was a day. Simply a day, nothing more and nothing less. Maybe tomorrow will be a good day, or maybe it will be a bad day, who knows, and frankly, who cares? Today is today, so why would I spend my time worrying about tomorrow. If anything, I should worry about today. I can worry about tomorrow when it comes. Today is not a good day. And today is not a bad day. Today is a day. And I am completely okay with that.

sometimes ok is hoping that one day you’ll be “normal” that maybe one day you saying that you’re ok will actually mean that you’re fine

All the suicidal kids with all their cuts and pills no matter how hard they try they just can’t get it right because they were born to live All the cancerous kids with all their smiles and tears no matter how hard they try they just can’t get it right because they were born to die

and when they look around they realize there is actually another whole world inside you they they hadn’t even discovered yet

most of the time I go to war with my mind over if I should get up or not

I want to spend my life mapping out every single island and river on the globe that is you and I want to be the one who hugs you tight enough to mend all your broken pieces back together

I got this idea that it's all okay as long as I'm getting thinner

the photos look better without me in them

So the next time you look at a situation, or even a human being, think about if it's better to leave for good, or just physically leave. Because sometimes I wish I had left certain people and places when I had the chance, you know. Before I got caught in the twisting hurricane that eventually left me alone.

I can write down everything and have it make perfect sense but when I try to speak my stomach ties knots and my throat clogs up and my vocal chords decide to not work in that moment "um" "I don't know" are the best explanations I can give and that's sad really

it's just so hard to talk it's not even mental anymore it's become a physical problem where it's hard to move my mouth enough to let words out and I know exactly what I want to say and it's sitting there perfectly in my mind