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Instead, I simply offer up this prayer: “May the highest come into being.”
But someone once told me people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Knowing how to discern the difference is a skill worth acquiring.
Life is full of traumas to the heart, and perhaps more than anything else, it triggers false fear because we’re so afraid of heartbreak. Love feels risky. Love feels unsafe. Love feels like something to protect against. But closing the heart is never the solution.
their documentary film by the same name, “Death makes life possible.” Only through a healthy relationship with the inevitability of death will we come into right relationship with our fear of loss.
you’ve just been given a terminal cancer diagnosis at a young age, as Lee was. In his book Enjoy Every Sandwich,
Michael Newton, Ph.D., who examined the experience of his patients under hypnosis, posit that life on earth is in essence a school for the soul:
To get this perspective, I find it helpful to practice observing my life from the witness position.
What if, instead of being a victim of these traumas, on some soul level, you chose these challenges?
Once you start viewing loss as an opportunity for growth and initiation, you stop fearing loss, you start accepting what is, and you absorb the lessons life on earth is trying to teach you. And once this happens, once you let yourself become a student of life, humbled by life, no longer resisting it, something shifts, and life no longer needs to teach you by whacking you with cosmic two-by-fours.
“I Accept” Meditation
To listen to a free “I Accept” meditation, download the free Prescription for Courage kit at TheFearCureBook.com.
Have you ever felt that a loss is initiating you into some new phase of life? Has your heart opened? Has your soul grown because of what you experienced? Write down your reflections.
Perfect Storm,
Instead of guarding against loss, you can trust that even loss has a purpose, even if you don’t know exactly what it is.
Instead of panicking when you lose your job, you trust that the perfect job will appear in the perfect timing.
listen to 10 Ways Your Soul Guides You in Daily Life, a free teleclass with me and Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D. You can download the recording at no charge at MedicineForTheSoulRx.com.
Outrageous Openness.
anomalous cognition.
Once you realize that nothing is random, that you weren’t the victim of bad luck or bad genes or hostile forces, that even illnesses and those who hurt you were teachers of your soul and deserving of gratitude, you’re ready to transform your relationship with fear and uncertainty.
you came here to make peace with uncertainty, you might wind up with a life-threatening illness.
Based
1) not over reliance on parents
2) respect and love your wife
3) do not over indulge in alcohol
4) meditation and prayers
5) get things right in the first go
6) learn to fuck hard and satisfy a girl
7) learn to pamper a girl
8) perseverance (vikram, chattur and lawyers)
9) courage
10) create your own destiny
The Overview Effect.
Courage is fear that has said its prayers.
If fear isn’t ruling your decisions, your whole life can change.
“I accept. I accept. I accept.”
Letting go simply means being fully present with exactly what is in the present moment, without either resisting it or clinging to it because you’re afraid to lose it. It means stepping into the part of you that is pure consciousness, completely accepting of everything exactly as it is. This is part of what attracts us to nature. Nature isn’t trying to change anything. It just is. Daffodil bulbs bloom as the snow melts without grasping at winter or resisting spring. The river flows around the rocks without getting mad at the rocks. The sun sets in a bloom of golden rose clouds without being
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We make reality wrong. We suffer. Nature has something to teach us when it comes to letting go. Just going outside and witnessing how nature operates can teach us much about how to live and let go.
“The very act of grasping for the feather creates the wind current that pushes it away.”
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma—which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. — STEVE JOBS
Brené Brown teaches that vulnerability is the gateway to intimacy and connection, and in my personal experience, this has proved to be true.
What will it take for you to free yourself?
COURAGE-CULTIVATING EXERCISE #15 Identify Your Patterns Are there any negative patterns that keep repeating themselves in your life? List them. Be careful not to judge yourself. Practice self-compassion as you examine this question. Does anyone in your family have either similar patterns or polar opposite patterns? Be careful not to judge these family members. Practice compassion with them too. Can you identify any beliefs that might underlie such patterns? Often, you may have unknowingly inherited these beliefs from your parents, as they may have inherited these beliefs from theirs. This
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COURAGE-CULTIVATING EXERCISE #16 Convert from Pessimism to Optimism Martin Seligman, Ph.D., author of Learned Optimism, recommends keeping an ABC diary for a few days to assess the beliefs that arise in the face of adverse events. To do this, you have to pay attention to your internal dialogue and notice the knee-jerk responses that arise when something unwanted happens. 1. Write down the adversity. 2. List the thoughts and beliefs that arise as a result of the adversity. 3. Record the consequences. How did you feel? How did you behave? 4. Review your patterns of belief and how they
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COURAGE-CULTIVATING EXERCISE #18 Create Your New “Everybody” Name your current Everybody. List the names of all the people whose judgment or approval you’re thinking of when you worry about what Everybody will think. Notice whether these people model qualities you wish to emulate. Are they kind? Filled with integrity? Compassionate? Brave? Don’t judge these people, but do ask yourself whether you really value their opinions. Choose your ideal Everybody. Perhaps some of the people in your current Everybody are there because you value and respect their counsel. If so, keep them! But if these
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Allowing your desire to be known publicly can facilitate the process.
Sometimes what makes us most brave requires us to do something scary not for ourselves, but on behalf of others.
COURAGE-CULTIVATING EXERCISE #20 The $100 Investment If someone gave you $100 and charged you to go and make the world a better place, what would you do with it? Can you spare $100 of your own money to put your plan into action? Are you brave enough to do so? If you don’t have $100 to spare, can you brainstorm ways to raise $100? Are there others who might be willing to fund you? Can you challenge someone else to change the world with $100? Would they be willing to meet the challenge with you? Imagine if every person who could afford it invested $100 in making the world a better place …
As long as the amygdala is on high alert, triggering stress responses an average of 50 times per day, making courageous choices can be challenging. When the nervous system calms down, it’s easier to access your brave.
Gavin de Becker’s wisdom comes in handy. De Becker, author of The Gift of Fear,
Feel, don’t think. The mind thinks, always chattering away, arguing with itself like a crazy person. Intuition, on the other hand, feels. If you’re not sure whether you’re listening to your fearful mind or your trustworthy intuition, see if you can differentiate whether you’re thinking or feeling.
Read books about how to develop your intuition. Try Sonia Choquette’s Trust Your Vibes, Shakti Gawain’s Developing Intuition, or Caroline Myss’s Sacred Contracts.
Meet your Inner Pilot Light in a guided meditation. For a guided meditation of me leading you through the process of meeting your inner wise mentor, download the free Prescription for Courage Kit at TheFearCureBook.com.
The more we try to resist Fear, the louder and scarier Fear can become. But when we befriend Fear instead, it can calm down.
Don’t judge Fear. Don’t get angry at Fear. Don’t try to silence Fear. It doesn’t work. Instead, invite your Inner Pilot Light to be compassionate with Fear.
Be loving. Be patient. Let Fear know you’re not trying to get rid of it; you just don’t want it in the driver’s seat anymore. Let Fear cure you, if you’re brave enough.
COURAGE-CULTIVATING EXERCISE #22 Write a Letter from Your Inner Pilot Light 1. Close your eyes, focus on your breath, and let your mind quiet down. 2. Invite Fear to write you a letter. Start with Dear YOU, and end with Love, Fear. Don’t censor this. Let Fear get as scary, whiny, nasty, childish, and weak as it can. 3. Now sense the presence of your Inner Pilot Light. Feel this wise, loving mentor within. Let it nurture you. Be held by your highest self. 4. Ask your Inner Pilot Light to respond to Fear. Start with Dear Fear, and end with Love, Your Inner Pilot Light. If you can align
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