Lie With Me: A Novel

by Philippe Besson

that pleasing him was just an illusion, and that pleasure itself lasts only as long as an embrace in a closet.

I discover the pain of waiting, because there is this refusal to admit defeat, to believe that a future where it happens again is possible.

This is important: he sees me in a certain way, a way he will never deviate from. In the end, love was only possible because he saw me not as who I was, but as the person I would become.

what he likes about me is also what keeps me separate from him.

This passion that can’t be talked about, that has to be concealed, gives way to the terrible question: if it isn’t talked about, how can one know that it really exists?

Have you noticed how the most beautiful landscapes lose their brilliance as soon as our thoughts prevent us from seeing them properly?

Desire does not go out like a match, it extinguishes slowly as it burns into ash.

It’s the most simple words that destroy us.

I try to imagine the last image that formed in his mind, plucked from his memory, not expecting to figure it out, but believing that if somehow I could discover it, I could renew our intimacy. I would once again be what no one else has been for him.

You get used to everything, even the defection of those you thought you were bound to forever.