All those first three days I had spent in the most painful feelings: “This is the end of my wanderings: I am in prison!” I repeated to myself every moment. “This is my refuge for many long years, my corner, which I enter with such a mistrustful, such a morbid feeling … But who knows? Maybe many years from now I’ll be sorry when I have to leave it!…,” I would add, not without an admixture of that gleeful feeling which sometimes reaches the point of a need to deliberately chafe your own wound, as if you wish to admire your own pain, as if the consciousness of the extent of your misfortune indeed
...more
