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This is why developing mental strength requires a three-pronged approach: 1. Thoughts—Identifying irrational thoughts and replacing them with more realistic thoughts. 2. Behaviors—Behaving in a positive manner despite the circumstances. 3. Emotions—Controlling your emotions so your emotions don’t control you.
Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality. —JOHN GARDNER
Angry people may choose to offer harsh criticism quite regularly just because it relieves their stress. Or individuals with low self-esteem may feel better about themselves only when they put other people down.
Staying the same often equals getting stuck in a rut. Life can get pretty boring if you don’t do anything differently. A person who simply decides to keep things as mundane and low-key as possible isn’t likely to experience a rich, full life and might become depressed.
Other people will outgrow you. “My husband isn’t the same man I married thirty years ago.” I hear this all the time in my office, and my response is usually, “Let’s hope not.” I hope everyone grows and changes over the course of thirty years. If you are unwilling to challenge yourself and improve, others may grow bored with you.
There’s no need to change for the sake of change.
Instead, it’s important to pay close attention to the reasons why you want to change so you can determine whether the decision is about doing what’s ultimately best for you.
Trying to control everything usually starts out as a way to manage anxiety. If you know you have everything under control, what’s there to worry about? Rather than focusing on managing your anxiety, you try controlling your environment.
Control and Anxiety
In fact, people with a high internal locus of control tend to suffer from loneliness because they feel irritable that other people aren’t keeping up with their standards.
What’s Not Helpful Insisting on doing everything because no one else can do it right
For SJs
Your words and your behavior must be in line with your beliefs before you can begin to enjoy a truly authentic life.
Your self-confidence will soar. The more you’re able to see that you don’t have to make people happy, the more independence and confidence you’ll gain.
Success won’t find you. You have to pursue it. Stepping into the unknown to take carefully calculated risks can help you reach your dreams and fulfill your goals.
Although self-reflection is healthy, dwelling can be self-destructive, preventing you from enjoying the present and planning for the future.
Dwelling on the past is bad for your physical health. Thinking constantly about negative events increases inflammation in your body,
Many people wrongly believe that the amount of time you grieve over someone is directly proportional to the amount of love you had for someone.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting something happened. If someone hurt you, you can forgive them while still deciding not to have any more contact, for example. Instead, focus on letting go so you don’t stay consumed with the hurt and anger.
You can’t change the past. But you can choose to accept it. If you’ve made mistakes, you can’t go back and fix them or erase them. You may be able to try and take steps to repair some of the damage you’ve caused, but it won’t make everything better.
Anger, shame, and guilt can run your life if you’re not careful. Letting go of those emotions helps you to be in charge of your life.
Despite the fact that we now have a study that proves we can learn from our mistakes, it is difficult to completely unlearn what we were taught when we were younger. Growing up, you may have learned it’s better to hide your mistakes than face the consequences.
Resentment of others’ success is also a result of deep-rooted insecurities. It’s hard to be happy about a friend’s accomplishments when you feel bad about yourself. When you’re insecure, someone else’s success will seem to magnify your shortcomings.
If you’re afraid of failure, you’ll be less likely to learn from mistakes and, therefore, less likely to try again.
Being alone often gets confused with being lonely. Feelings of loneliness have been linked to poor sleep, high blood pressure, weaker immune systems, and increased stress hormones. But being alone doesn’t necessarily cause loneliness. In fact, many people feel lonely when they’re surrounded by others in a crowded room. Loneliness is about perceiving that no one is there for you. But solitude is about making a choice to be alone with your thoughts.
Mindfulness Skills Mindfulness is often used synonymously with meditation, but they’re not exactly the same thing. Mindfulness is about developing an acute awareness of what is happening within the moment without forming judgment.
Eat a Mindful Bite of Food—Take a small piece of food, such as a raisin or a nut, and explore it with as many senses as possible.
Not only does our fast-paced world discourage us from waiting, but there are always stories floating around about someone who has become an “overnight success.” You hear about a musician who gets discovered from a YouTube video or a reality star who becomes an instant celebrity. Or start-ups that make millions of dollars as soon as they get off the ground. These types of accounts fuel our desire to get immediate results from whatever we’re doing.
We underestimate how long change takes. We’re so used to technology accomplishing things quickly, we incorrectly assume that change in all the areas of our lives can happen fast. We lose sight of the fact that personal change, business operations, and people don’t move nearly as fast as technology.
