the symptoms of codependency and many of your dysfunctional behaviors helped you survive and avoid deeper problems and pain. Letting go before you know what’s in store can feel life-threatening. Defensiveness bolstered your low self-esteem when you felt judged. People-pleasing stemmed from shame and fear and has allowed you to feel connected and loved. Being a caretaker helped you avoid self-responsibility but also provided a sense of worth and security that you’d be needed and wouldn’t be alone. Perhaps you allowed abuse because you couldn’t set boundaries and/or were afraid to leave a
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