Abuse is a manipulative tactic used to carry out the abuser’s intent to control you and evade meaningful conversation. Notice the abuser’s defenses — how he or she parries your attempts to communicate and puts everything back on you to deflect responsibility. When you focus on the content, you fall into the trap of trying to respond rationally, denying accusations, and explaining yourself. You lose your power. The abuser has won and avoided responsibility for the verbal abuse. You must first address the abuse.
