Early in recovery, it’s exceedingly hard to take responsibility for your feelings and actions, and just say, “You’re right,” or the opposite, “No, I don’t see it that way.” Period! Notice if you use language such as, “I was just . . .,” or “I only meant . . . . ” These along with other explanations and justifications convey guilt and low self-esteem and provide the other person ammunition to continue arguing. Explaining yourself gives someone else the right to judge your motives and what’s best for you. Do you really mean to do that? Remember from Chapter 9 that you’re entitled to your
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