Most codependents have an external locus of control (refer to Chapter 3), meaning that they think external factors are the cause of what happens to them and how they feel. Codependents expect and hope that change will come from the outside or some other person. Their focus and power are outside of themselves. They look to others to make themselves feel better and approve of them, especially when it comes to relationships. They also tend to make excuses or blame others or circumstances for their problems and when things don’t go as planned. As you stop doing that and begin to take
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