Often you might try to control someone to avoid the pain and fear of loss — loss of affection, loss of the health of a loved one, or loss of a relationship. Attempts to control other people are based on an illusion, a false idea that you can control other people. It keeps you in denial and can make your life unmanageable because you’re trying to control something you can’t. If your reactions and efforts to control and fix haven’t measurably helped, consider that you may be powerless to change another person or situation. It’s hard enough to change yourself, even with considerable effort.
