Rising Strong: The Reckoning. The Rumble. The Revolution.

by Brené Brown

“There’s certainly a skill set when it comes to interpreting the creative piece and the management piece in terms of time and materials, but the real key is knowing yourself. You have to know where the quicksand is—everyone has their own sinkholes.” When I asked Andrew for examples of “sinkholes,” he gave me what he thought were the five most common ones: 1. Emotional blinders—I’m so emotionally invested in working with this client that I’m blind to the fact that our bid is too low for the scope of the work. 2. The loss leader—I’m convinced that a big discount on this project, even if we lose money, will lead to future work that will be more profitable and eventually offset this loss. 3. Uncharted territory—I’m going after business in a category I have no experience in. I don’t know what I don’t know. 4. Win at any cost—I’m addicted to the thrill of the win. Another variation: My self-worth is tied to how much business I bring in. 5. Defensive pricing—I have to protect my turf with an existing client by making it difficult for a competitor to match my price, even if we take a loss. As I wrote these down, I couldn’t help but notice their application to everyday life. I told Andrew that I’d never in my life put together a bid, but I’d spent plenty of time in similar sinkholes, like getting sucked in emotionally, living in the future, thinking in the short term, wanting to win, and being defensive. We laughed for a bit before Andrew got more serious and said, “But sometimes t...