Rising Strong: The Reckoning. The Rumble. The Revolution.

by Brené Brown

cheap-seat criticism is dangerous. Here’s why: 1. It hurts. The really cruel things people say about us are painful. Cheap-seat folks are season-ticket holders in the arena. They’re good at what they do and they can hit us right where it hurts: our shame triggers. For women, they’ll go after appearance, body image, mothering, and anything else that could dent be-perfect-and-make-everyone-happy expectations. For men, they’ll go straight for the jugular—any appearance of weakness or failure. This is dangerous because after a few hits, we start playing smaller and smaller, making ourselves harder targets. We’re more difficult to hit when we’re small, but we’re also less likely to make a contribution.