The Crown of Ptolemy (Demigods & Magicians, #3)

by Rick Riordan

I kissed her, because 1) when you’re a demigod going into battle, every kiss might be your last, and 2) I like kissing her. ‘Be careful.’

I wanted to get up and face Setne, but my rear end had other ideas. It wanted to stay where it was and be in extreme pain. Butts are like that sometimes. They can be, well, butts.

I wondered how Setne knew that. Maybe he could ‘smell’ a demigod’s aura the way Greek monsters could. Or maybe my prankster friends the Stoll brothers had written I’M A DEMIGOD on my forehead in permanent marker and Annabeth had decided not to tell me. That happened occasionally.

I’d have to play this smart … which was not my usual style.

‘Okay, where’s the camera icon?’ Setne fumbled with his phone. ‘We have to get a picture together before I destroy you.’

‘Let’s see.’ Setne tapped his phone. ‘Sorry, this is new to me. I’m from the Nineteenth Dynasty. Ah, okay. No. Darn it. Where did the screen go? Ah! Right! So what do modern folks call this … a snappie?’ He leaned in towards the cobra goddess, held out his phone at arm’s length and took a picture. ‘Got it!’ ‘WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?’ Wadjet roared. ‘YOU DARE TAKE A SELFIE WITH THE COBRA GODDESS?’ ‘Selfie!’ said the magician. ‘That’s right! Thanks. And now I’ll take your crown and consume your essence. Hope you don’t mind.’ ‘WHAT?’ The cobra goddess reared and bared her fangs again, but the rain and wind restrained her like a seat belt. Setne shouted something in a mixture of Egyptian and Ancient Greek. A few of the Greek words I understood: soul and bind and possibly butter (though I could be wrong about the last one). The cobra goddess began to writhe.

‘Thanks.’ I tried to yank out Riptide, but it seemed to be stuck. ‘So … you can die now, if it’s not too much trouble.’

Setne smiled apologetically. ‘About that … I’m beyond dying now. At this point –’ He tapped the blade. ‘Get it? This point? I’m afraid all you can do is make me stronger!’ His red crown began to glow.

‘HEY!’ I got up, my legs shaking. ‘You ate my sword!’ My voice sounded shrill – like a little kid who’s just had his lunch money stolen. The thing is, Riptide was my most important possession. I’d had it a long time. It had seen me through a lot of scrapes.

A full-sized camel dropped out of the sky and crushed Setne flat. ‘Sadie!’ Annabeth cried. For a split second, I thought she was calling the camel Sadie. Then I realized Annabeth was looking up into the storm, where two falcons spiralled above the courtyard.

The camel bellowed and farted, which made me appreciate it even more.

Then again, I have Cyclopes and two-tailed mermen as siblings. I wasn’t about to comment on the Kane kids’ lack of resemblance.

‘Also he stole my sword,’ I said. ‘I want it back.’ The three of them stared at me. ‘What?’ I said. ‘I like my sword.’

‘Hold up,’ I said. ‘Low tolerance for confusing names. Can you explain what’s going on in, like, regular words?’

Sadie clapped for me.

‘Well, yeah,’ I said. ‘Mount Olympus hovers over the Empire State Building, so –’ ‘Mount Olympus –’ Sadie blinked – ‘hovers over the … Of course it does. Why not?

‘Lovely.’ Sadie raised her staff. The tip flared with white fire. ‘Anyone fancy a picnic in the rain?’

‘Setne’s dangerous,’ Annabeth said. ‘We can’t just go charging in. We need a plan.’ ‘She’s right,’ Carter said.

‘I kind of like charging in,’ I said. ‘Speed is of the essence, right?’ ‘Than...

‘Being smart is also of the essence,’ Annabeth said. ‘Exactly,’ Carter said. ‘We have to ...

Sadie rolled her eyes at me. ‘Just as I feared. These two together … they’ll ...

She reminded me of someone … Then it occurred to me. She looked like a younger version of Annabeth, but her fidgeting and hyperness reminded me of … well, me. If Annabeth and I ever had a daughter, she might be a lot like Sadie. Whoa.

It’s not like I’d never dreamed about kids before. I mean, you date someone for over a year, the idea is going to be in the back of your mind somewhere, right? But still – I’m barely seventeen. I’m not ready to think too seriously about stuff like that. Also, I’m a demigod. On a day-to-day basis, I’m busy just trying to stay alive. Yet, looking at Sadie, I could imagine that someday maybe I’d have a little girl who looked like Annabeth and acted like me – a cute little hellion of a demigod, stomping through puddles and flattening monsters with magic camels. I must have been staring, because Sadie frowned at me. ‘What?’ ‘Nothing,’ I said quickly. Carter nudged me. ‘Were you listening?’ ‘Yes. No. What?’ Annabeth sighed. ‘Percy, explaining things to you is like lecturing a gerbil.’ ‘Hey, Wise Girl, don’t start with me.’ ‘Whatever, Seaweed Brain. We were just saying that we’ll have to combine our attacks.’

‘Oh, please,’ Sadie said. ‘That’s easy. Carter, give your wand to Percy.’ ‘Why?’ ‘Just do it, brother dear.

‘Cheers.

You see, I don’t need to spend hours planning and researching to be brilliant.

I looked at Sadie. ‘Is he trying to confuse me?’ ‘No,’ she said brightly. ‘He’s confusing without trying.’ Carter smacked his palm against his forehead. ‘That wasn’t even confusing. How was that –?

‘It’s called – well, I can’t actually say the word without making you blow up.

‘Ooh,’ Sadie said. ‘I love striking things with lightning bolts.’

‘Giant-chicken mode,’ I remembered.

‘Dude, my avatar is a falcon-headed warrior.’

‘I still think you could get a sponsorship deal with KFC. Ma...

‘Wow, okay. I’m invisible, aren’t I?’

Sadie applauded. ‘You’ve never looked better, brother dear.’ ‘Very funny.’

‘He’s summoning Nekhbet,’ Sadie murmured. ‘I’d really rather not see her again.’ ‘What kind of name is Neck Butt, anyway?’ I asked. Sadie snickered. ‘That’s what I called her the first time I saw her. But, really, she’s not very nice. Possessed my gran, chased me across London …’

‘Charge!’ Sadie barrelled into the clearing, her staff in one hand and her Greek scroll in the other. I glanced at Annabeth. ‘Your new friend is awesome.’ Then I followed Sadie.

Annabeth jogged towards us, giving me one of those annoyed expressions like, If you get yourself killed, I’m going to murder you.

I gritted my teeth. Annabeth and I had recently done battle with Gaia the Earth Mother. More dirt sorcery was the last thing I needed.

Sadie struggled, her legs still encased in mud. ‘Clean up all this dirt right now, young man. Then give us that crown and go to your room.’ The magician’s eyes glittered. ‘Ah, Sadie. Delightful as always. Where’s your brother? Did I accidentally blow him up? You can thank me for that later. Right now, I must get on with business.’

Sadie managed to pull one of her legs free, minus her combat boot. She cursed worse than my immortal horse friend Arion (which is pretty bad) as she retrieved the boot.

Her eyes were wide with surprise. ‘That was brilliant. Did I get him?’

‘Hey, lady –’ Annabeth rose – ‘I was trying to keep you from being devoured. You’re welcome.’

‘Oh, so now it’s our fault?’ Sadie hefted her staff. ‘Listen here, buzzard breath –’

Sadie, Carter, Annabeth and I exchanged uneasy looks. Normally when a god says, We must stop him, it means, You must stop him while I sit back and enjoy a cold beverage. But Nekhbet seemed serious about joining the gang.

‘He said he was done with it,’ I recalled. ‘I guess he, like, passed the test, so he threw away his notes.’ Annabeth looked horrified. ‘Are you crazy? You throw away your notes after a test?’ ‘Doesn’t everybody, Miss Brainiac?’

‘Guys!’ Sadie interrupted. ‘It’s terribly cute watching you two snipe at each other, but we have business.’ She turned to Nekhbet. ‘Now, your Scavenging Highness, is there a way to stop Setne?’

We need a very potent hybrid attack, an abomination even Ptolemy would approve of.’ ‘Why are you looking at me?’ I asked. ‘I’m not abominable.’

‘Or it could melt his brain!’ Sadie said. ‘Hold it,’ Annabeth said. ‘I prefer my boyfriend with an unmelted brain.

couldn’t steer you as easily.’ ‘Steer me?’ I protested. ‘Hey, lady, I’m not a Toyota.’

‘Percy Jackson is perfect. He is powerful, yet his mind is not overly crowded with plans and ideas.’ ‘Wow,’ I said. ‘Really feeling the love here.’