Searching for Sunday: Loving, Leaving, and Finding the Church

by Rachel Held Evans

But the point of this passage, and of the other New Testament household codes, is not to emphasize the holiness of a single household structure, but rather to admonish Christians to imitate Jesus, no matter where they stand in the sociological pecking order. So men are told to be kind to their slaves, gentle with their children, and loving with their wives (Ephesians 5:25–28; 6:4, 9). Slaves are admonished to work well, with ultimate allegiance to God and with the suffering of Christ as a comfort in their affliction (6:5). Wives and husbands are encouraged to submit to one another in respect, love, and patience with the sacrificial love of Christ as their example (5:21–33). Paul is not arguing that the first-century Greco-Roman household structure is the best for human flourishing and therefore God’s design for all people everywhere. Such a question was not within his purview. Rather, he is explaining that when Christians imitate Jesus in their relationships, when partners in marriage serve one another rather than fight for dominance, we catch a little glimpse of the mystery of Christ’s relentless, self-giving love for the church, and the consummation of that love that is to come.