Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverts

by Susan Cain

A few years ago, a psychologist named Avril Thorne set up an experiment to explore the social interactions between introverts and extroverts. Thorne was looking in particular at how the two groups connected on the phone. The experiment brought together fifty-two young women—half were introverted, half extroverted—and paired them in conversations. Many people assume introverts are quiet all the time, but the study revealed that they talk just as much as their personality opposites. (Any one of my high school friends could tell you this, as we talked for hours on the phone—that’s what kids did back then—each night.) In the experiment, when introverts talked to other introverts, they tended to focus on one or a few deep or profound subjects. When extroverts were matched up with other extroverts, on the other hand, they tended to gloss over a whole range of topics, without digging too deeply into one particular subject. The really interesting results popped up when introverts and extroverts were paired together. Both groups reported that these conversations were the most enjoyable. People preferred talking to their opposites. The introverts found that talking to someone chattier made the conversation a little more lighthearted and fun. The extroverted women in the group said they found the conversations more serious and deep. In effect, the women ended up meeting halfway, and finding the right mix of lighthearted chatter and deep conversation.