Heart Of A Goon

by Jahquel J.

When it came to Sigel, it would always be beef whenever he was mentioned or I saw him. Until I put him down in that damn ground, that nigga would never know peace.

“Look, I know you may look at me like a guidance counselor, but I’m also⁠—” “Cappadonna, leave me the fuck alone,” I laughed, because only this nigga could make me laugh when I felt like the walls were closing in on me.

Zoya was everything I should have avoided, but I was drawn to her like a bee to pollen, a moth to a flame, a fuck to you mean.

“Peach, be careful with Cujo.” “Meer?” Baby called. “Hmm?” He turned around. “Fuck ya.” Zoya held up her middle finger, and Meer laughed, while jogging to catch up with his wife.

“Will Menace, I don’t know.” “Nigga better be cool before I stir up his mash potatoes.” “Jokes on you, nigga don’t eat starch soup.” “What?” He waved his hands. “Don’t worry about it.”

I remained leaned on the counter and nodded my head before leaning up and heading toward the door. Bando stood up and started to walk toward me. “Bed, now!” “So, my son can’t say bye to his father now?” Zoya looked at me like I was crazy. “Leave, now.”

wasn’t the kind that drove the safest, but the way Khaos drove had me considering calling the department of motor vehicles to ask if they were sure he earned his license the right way.

I watched as he took a box from the man restocking and started to put it on the higher shelf. “Pass me that second one… I used to manage a store over in Far Rockaway.” He lied with a straight face.

“I was racing your car in Brooklyn with Blair and Capri and lost.” He nodded. “I knew that random head was a fucking trick.” I held my hand up. “Landon, I’ll scream that you have a bomb if you say some shit like that again.”

“You gotta stop living your adult life by the rules that Menace set when we were kids… we won every competition, award, and whatever contest because he said second place was for people that ate crayons.” “And it is.”

“’Cause I know you. When you feel backed into a corner, you get crazy out the mouth. Probably said something even worse.” “Not true… he cursed at me.” Landon paused. “You told him to shut the fuck up, Zoya.” “Now I’m a big fat rude bitch… it really gets to a point, Landon.”

“Stevie, going along with his shit doesn’t help either,” Core said, as he popped open his soda. “I would never rob my husband and kill him, Corleon.” Stevie gasped, climbing down from the counter.

Menace leaned back further in his chair and looked at me. “Why?” “Fuck you mean why?” He sighed. “He’s slow, Bruster.” “I’m not fucking slow… the fuck you mean why?”

“We’re used to people leaving… counting us out. We’re not easy, I can tell you that.” “I’m already knowing.” Menace screwed his face up. “You said we don’t deserve love, Greg?”

“Mens?” “Yeah.” “Stop fucking calling me Greg.” “Is that not your name?”

“The apple never falls far from the tree.” “You said we’re slow?”

Cappadonna threatened he would come in as a CO and whoop my ass if I got locked up again.

“See evil, do evil. Only Wraithes inflict the wrath that keeps our family.”

She smiled brightly, like she just told me about the scheme Todd was cooking up.

“You are not going to marry me.” I stopped her hand from rubbing my beard and kissed her wrist. “Zoya, I’m going to marry you… you coming up off that Caselli name.” “Prove it,” she challenged me. “Heard you.”

“Can we have pole dancing?” Erin grew excited. “Yes, I’ve been wanting to take one.” Alaia added. Capp looked at his wife. “Word?” She blushed and looked away. “Roy, leave me alone.” “Nah… this perfect actually. Used to manage a little strip joi⁠—” “Leroy, please!” Everyone yelled.

“Gerald, don’t fucking play with me.” “My dear, there’s a lot of shit that I do… playing is never one of them. You want this space, so I’m giving that to you. I already told you what it was before. Don’t think I won’t make that chest hurt.”

“By not telling you the woman in that room is your actual mother. Constance was your sister, not your mother. You are a product of rape, Zoya. Dawn was raped by a member of staff, and she was in a Catholic facility before this one, they refused abortion.”

“I wanted to pull that trigger but thought about you. Thought about how you would feel because I promised you. I’m never breaking a promise when it comes to you, Baby. I don’t even need you to say I lov⁠—” “I do love you, Goo.” She continued to nervously chew on the side of her lip while looking away from me.

“I did… I’ll take this… you got a family.” He stomped on the brake and looked at me. “We in this shit together… family, nigga. They took a life, we took a life, now we funeral directors.”

“Yeah, ight… what color should I wear to the baby shower… need me to plan the shit? My wife and sis got an event planning business… I’m CEO.”