Heart Of A Goon

by Jahquel J.

Menace told me that I either move, or he was gonna get someone to put roaches in my condo.

No matter how fragile our relationship was, I was going to ride and protect my brother.

High functioning depression was a bitch. On the outside, everyone saw this put together, confident, powerhouse of a woman. Someone that would enter any courtroom with her claws extended and ready. I was the person who called and checked in on everyone and was down to show up with takeout and drinks when any of my girls needed me. Meanwhile, on the inside, I was low. So low. Always feeling completely low, exhausted, and that was even when I just woke up. You ever woke up from a full nine hours and you were still completely tired, overwhelmed, and drained?

Depression had turned me into a liar. Always smiling and telling everyone I was fine when I was the complete opposite.

Kora was collecting white men in picture frames like Thanos was collecting infinity stones.

“Look, I know you may look at me like a guidance counselor, but I’m also⁠—”

Zoya was everything I should have avoided, but I was drawn to her like a bee to pollen, a moth to a flame, a fuck to you mean.

Depression was like fighting the darkness with a blind fold.

Just because you were understanding of someone’s brokenness, didn’t mean you had to crumble right along with them.