The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

by Kelly McGonigal

Stress is what arises when something you care about is at stake.

Stress and meaning are inextricably linked. You don’t stress out about things you don’t care about, and you can’t create a meaningful life without experiencing some stress.

Cortisol helps turn sugar and fat into energy and improves the ability of your body and brain to use that energy. Cortisol also suppresses some biological functions that are less important during stress, such as digestion, reproduction, and growth. DHEA,

exercise, DHEA helps your brain grow stronger from stressful experiences. It also counters some of the effects of cortisol. For

they cope with stress by trying to avoid it. For example, they are more likely to: Try to distract themselves from the cause of the stress instead of dealing with it. Focus on getting rid of their feelings of stress instead of taking steps to address its source. Turn to alcohol or other substances or addictions to escape the stress. Withdraw their energy and attention from whatever relationship, role, or goal is causing the stress.

people who believe that stress can be helpful are more likely to say that they cope with stress proactively. For example, they are more likely to: Accept the fact that the stressful event has occurred and is real. Plan a strategy for dealing with the source of stress. Seek information, help, or advice. Take steps to overcome, remove, or change the source of stress. Try to make the best of the situation by viewing it in a more positive way or by using

The first step is to acknowledge stress when you experience it. Simply allow yourself to notice the stress, including how it affects your body. The second step is to welcome the stress by recognizing that it’s a response to something you care about. Can you connect to the positive motivation behind the stress? What is at stake here, and why does it matter to you? The third step is to make use of the energy that stress gives you, instead of wasting that energy trying to manage your stress.

the young monkeys from their moms, she predicted that the early life stress would lead to emotional instability. But instead, the stress led to resilience. As they grew up, the monkeys who had experienced early life stress were less anxious than the more sheltered monkeys. They explored more in new environments and showed greater curiosity toward new objects—a young monkey’s version of courage. They were quicker to solve new mental challenges that the experimenters gave them. As juveniles—the equivalent of teenagers—the previously stressed monkeys even showed greater self-control.

The specific cardiovascular changes, ratio of hormones released, and other aspects of a stress response can vary widely.

chemical cocktail of endorphins, adrenaline, testosterone, and dopamine. This side of the stress response is one reason some people enjoy stress—it

“excite and delight” side of stress.

beneficial ratio of stress hormones that can determine, in part, whether a stressful experience is strengthening or harmful.

Contrary to what many people expect, top performers in these fields aren’t physiologically calm under pressure; rather, they have strong challenge responses.

Your heart has special receptors for oxytocin, which helps heart cells regenerate and repair from any micro-damage.

When you feel your body responding to stress, ask yourself which part of the stress response you need most. Do you need to fight, escape, engage, connect, find meaning, or grow?

When it came to overall well-being, the happiest people in the poll weren’t the ones without stress. Instead, they were the people who were highly stressed but not depressed.

Even though most people view stress as harmful, higher levels of stress seem to go along with things we want: love, health, and satisfaction with our lives.

Rather than being a sign that something is wrong with your life, feeling stressed can be a barometer for how engaged you are in activities and relationships that are personally meaningful.

Stress may be a natural byproduct of pursuing difficult but important goals, but that doesn’t mean every stressful moment is rich in meaning.

Human beings have an innate instinct and capacity to make sense out of their suffering.

Feeling burdened rather than uplifted by everyday duties is more a mindset than a measure of what is going on in your life.

writing about your values is one of the most effective psychological interventions ever studied. In the short term, writing about personal values makes people feel more powerful, in control, proud, and strong. It also makes them feel more loving, connected, and empathetic toward others. It increases pain tolerance, enhances self-control, and reduces unhelpful rumination after a stressful experience.

In fact, many of the negative outcomes we associate with stress may actually be the consequence of trying to avoid it.

good at stress—the courage to grow from stress—is still my favorite description of resilience. It reminds us that we cannot always control the stress in our lives, but we can choose our relationship to it. It acknowledges that embracing stress is an act of bravery, one that requires choosing meaning over avoiding discomfort.

challenge response, your body responds more like how it does during physical exercise. Because you aren’t anticipating harm, the body feels safe maximizing blood flow to give you the most possible energy. Unlike in a threat response, your blood vessels stay relaxed. Your heart also has a stronger beat—not just faster, but with greater force. Each time your heart contracts, it pumps out more blood. So, a challenge response gives you even

increased inflammation and blood pressure can be helpful in the short term of an emergency but can accelerate aging and disease when chronic. This

Importantly, none of these studies showed that performance was enhanced by the absence of a stress response; it was enhanced by the presence of a challenge response. This is not a trivial distinction.

when you have a challenge response, the brain is more likely to learn resilience from a stressful experience. In part, this is because you release more resilience-boosting hormones, including DHEA and nerve growth factor.

determining your stress response. If you believe that the demands of the situation exceed your resources, you will have a threat response. But if you believe you have the resources to succeed, you will have a challenge response.

Everyone experiences an increase in heart rate and adrenaline. People with anxiety disorders perceive those changes differently.

found that when it comes to mindset interventions, the more you initially resist the new idea, the more power it

Embracing stress is a radical act of self-trust: View yourself as capable and your body as a resource. You don’t have to wait until you no longer have fear, stress, or anxiety to do what matters most.

we can create the biology of courage through small actions. In this case, it was holding a loved one’s hand while he or she experienced pain.

bigger-than-self goals

Turn Self-Focus into Bigger-Than-Self Goals

More broadly, Staub has found that people who have suffered a high number of traumatic events in their lives are more likely to volunteer or donate money after natural disasters.

Among people who did not serve their communities in some way, every stressful life event, like a divorce or job loss, increased the risk of developing a new health problem. But there was no such risk for people who regularly spent time giving back. For them, there was zero association between stressful life events and health.

Participants who were genetically biased not to have a tend-and-befriend response got the biggest health benefit of being prosocial.

common humanity—the degree to which you see your own struggles as part of the human condition.

recognizing common humanity, people often underestimate the stress in other people’s lives and overestimate other people’s happiness.

Research shows that when you intentionally shift your focus toward supporting others, you end up the recipient of more support. When you make an effort to express your gratitude, you end up being more appreciated by others. When you go out of your way to make sure others know that they belong, you become an important and cherished member of the community.

all the runners took a turn saying one thing they were bringing to the group and one thing they’d like from the group. “I’m bringing my determination for everyone,” one runner said. “What I need is someone slow and steady to run alongside me.”

Adversity, he claimed, can create resilience.

People who had experienced a moderate level of adversity had the lowest risk of depression, the fewest physical health problems, and the greatest satisfaction with life.

identified a coping style called shift-and-persist that seems to protect people from the typical health risks associated with having grown up in poor or unsafe environments. Shifting is a combination of accepting stress and changing the way you think about its source. It’s often measured by asking people how much they agree with statements like “I think about the things I can learn from a situation, or about something good that can come from it.” Persisting is about maintaining the optimism needed to pursue meaning, even in the face of adversity.

This is how I’ve made it. Shift and persist. Accept, use, move on.