Master/slave Mastery: Updated handbook of concepts, approaches, and practices

by Robert J. Rubel

While a Dominant has a strong influence over their submissive, I would argue that a Master has absolute authority over slave.

A submissive gives limited control over certain aspects of their lives to their Dominant but retains enough personal autonomy that they may say “no” to a request from their Dom/me that they simply don’t want to perform. While a decision based upon their own will would upset and annoy the Dom/me, it would seldom be viewed as relationship-ending. To become a slave, a person gives authority over themselves to their Master who now controls every aspect of their lives. For many, this person is now considered owned property. A person does this for a variety of personal reasons that are hard to generalize. In this setting, slave’s refusal to carry out an order that is within their power to fulfill would be seen as a willful act of disobedience and may well be taken by Master as a breach of the relationship’s foundation: slave is to serve and to obey. Willful disobedience could easily be grounds for the slave’s dismissal.

Dominant and submissive describe aspects of one’s personality while Master, Owner, slave, and property describe roles.

As people who choose to live in consensual Master/slave relationships, we defy some of the beliefs our society holds most dear: the belief that independence is the key to happiness and that the desire to control another person is the heart of abuse. It takes tremendous commitment to follow a path that at best is likely to be misunderstood by those around you.” —slave marsha, Keynote address, Southwest Leather Conference, December 5, 2003

Under Master’s guidance, the couple is increasingly blended into one being that expresses what we might call “Master’s World Outlook.”

unlike the popularized version in which the slave’s primary reason-for-being is to satisfy Master’s wants, this can be a very, very sophisticated structure in which the Master is serving the slave’s needs every bit as much as the slave is endeavoring to fulfill Master’s wants. You will increasingly hear the phrase: “While the slave serves Master, Mater serves the relationship.”

You don’t join the Army as a General; you don’t step off the street and onto a dance floor as a regional competitor; you don’t go from boyfriend/girlfriend to M/s. It doesn’t work that way.

“A magnet is still a magnet whether it’s in the presence of metal or not. If your relationship needs are met by being responsible for and in control of another person and you consider yourself to be a leader of people when participating in this way of life, then whether or not you happen to have a slave at the time does not affect the authenticity of your mastery.”

“Obviously,” Master JW adds, “the obverse is also true: You don’t need to have a Master to live authentically as a slave—either in service to mankind or simply waiting until you find a suitable Master.”

The slave loses the right to say “no” to Master: in its place, slave may say, “Sir, if it pleases you, Sir” to mean: “Master, I really rather would not do that.” or “Sir, only if it pleases you, Sir” which is as close to “no” as slave is permitted. (Note: Master has an ethical obligation only to push through an only if reply so long as Master thinks that doing so remains in the slave’s best interest. Requiring a slave to proceed through an only if command on Master’s whim violates the basic Master/slave pact on Master’s part and represents a contract violation.)

whether or not love is involved is a matter of interpersonal chemistry and is not a de facto component of the relationship. (The Captain does not have to love his Colonel to follow the Colonel’s orders.);

The reality is that Master must be serving slave as much as slave is serving Master. To quote my eloquent friend Dan (Fet= DanielBelum) “Master is owned by the relationship; slave is owned by Master.”

to know the Master’s wants, needs, and preferences as well as they know their own wants, needs, and preferences.

you are totally in charge of yourself, your life, and your future. What you did five years ago, five months ago, five days ago, and yesterday have all led to who you are today.

who do you need to be to feel satisfied and complete as a person?

If you call yourself a pet, nobody is expecting slave behaviors out of you. If you’re being a slave, nobody is expecting you to curl up at your Master’s feet and start rubbing your head against their leg.

An army of sheep lead by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep.

As a general rule, "A" leaders select "A" players because they are confident in their own abilities and are used to being surrounded by excellence. However—again as a general rule—"B" leaders select "C" players because they can’t risk being exposed as "B" leaders rather than as "A" leaders.

I further draw the conclusion that some people are dead-set to learn little or nothing from life’s experiences and will go out of their way to do so.

Albert Einstein’s observation that the definition of insanity is: “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

You are largely blind to the subtle oddities that make up your personality.

Age carries with it the weight of experience.

Professionals are people who can do their job when they don't feel like it. Amateurs are people who can't do their job when they DO feel like it. (Deepak Raj)

If you have tried to do something and failed, you are vastly better off than if you had tried to do nothing and succeeded. (Richard Martin Stern)

Things don't change, we do; there is always a way if you're committed. (Anthony Robbins)

What you are afraid to do is a clear indicator of the next thing that you need to do. (Anthony Robbins)