You're Never Weird on the Internet (Almost)

by Felicia Day

Felicia’s place is always off the edge of the map, where dragons wait, and this story is more than a memoir. It’s a quest. If you wanna survive, stay close to the redhead. She knows her way.

“Megan’s mom doesn’t like her learning about astrology. I’m going to have to ask you to stop talking about it with the girls.” “But it’s the science of the stars!” “She thinks it’s Satanic. You gave her daughter a pentagram.” “It’s a natal chart, duh. You can’t let ignorance trump science here, Miss Mary!” Nothing I said could persuade her. She was a Taurus. Once her mind was made up, it was over.

someone’s takeaway from this story is “Felicia Day said don’t study!,” I’ll punch you in the face. But I AM saying don’t chase perfection for perfection’s sake, or for anyone else’s sake at all. If you strive for something, make sure it’s for the right reasons. And if you fail, that will be a better lesson for you than any success you’ll ever have. Because you learn a lot from screwing up.

I wrapped my mom’s faith around myself like a straightjacket as we drove three and a half hours to a nondescript Holiday Inn in Cincinnati.

I got hired to walk down a street thinking a whole monologue of silent thoughts about weight loss while drinking liquid yogurt. Later, they asked me to audition to be that same monologue voice in the commercial. Which I ended up LOSING OUT to someone else. Yeah, I lost a job to be my own inner voice.

When the system you want to be a part of so badly turns you into someone you’re unhappy with and you lose sight of yourself, is it worth it? Er . . . probably not.

Or it might be the time when he was ten, when I wanted to watch a miniseries about Anastasia, the maybe-not-murdered Russian princess, on our only TV. He wanted to watch Monster Truck Racing. My mom wasn’t home to arbitrate, so he forced me to try to strangle him with a phone cord.

It was like Cheers. But where absolutely no one knew your name.

A good teacher is someone you’re willing to share your ugliest, roughest work with and who doesn’t make you feel ashamed or stupid. Kim did that for me, and I loved her for it.

Side benefit, in Codex, I was able to craft a lead character as neurotic as I was! Every fear I had about my own weakness, uncertainty about my future, and how others would judge me I poured into her reactions and dialogue.

Once you tell people exactly what you will and won’t do, it’s amazing how they’ll adjust. Or they won’t. And then an opportunity or relationship goes away. And that’s okay.

Yeah, yeah, success is a ladder, a marathon instead of a sprint and all that crap. Everyone can TELL you stuff like that, but you really have to understand advice in relation to YOURSELF, or it’s all just nice intellectual theory.

In the end, I’m able to look back without shame or regretful nostalgia, and think, You made something great. And something new will come around. Or not. Either way, do the work you love. And love yourself. That’s all you can do in this world in order to be happy.

A great quote from a video series called Folding Ideas put it best: “The use of fear tactics, even if only by a minority, creates an environment of fear that all members enjoy the privilege of, whether they engage in them or not.”

“Oh, they’re from Star Wars. Part of the power generator inside the shield generator on Endor.” I looked closer. “They look . . . janky. What are they made out of?” “Dixie Cups.” “Wait, what? You mean the . . .” “Yes, the disposable cups. They’re spray-painted, see?” My guide lifted up the prop delicately and turned it over for me. Sure enough, I could see that underneath all the paint and decoration was a cup I could pull from a dispenser next to an office water bottle. “Um . . . what?” “During the filming of Star Wars, Lucas ran out of money, and the studio wouldn’t give him more. He invested his own money in the film in exchange for the merchandising rights . . .” “. . . and that’s why he’s a billionaire.” “Right. But they still had to cut a lot of corners. Some of the props, even wardrobe pieces like the cuffs on the slave Leia costume, had to be cobbled together any way they could.” “By painting Dixie Cups.” I stared at the prop in awe. It probably cost half a penny to make, and was a piece of the biggest movie franchise ever created. Definitely the most inspiring object I’d ever seen.

I was raised incredibly weird, but one day I accidentally got brave and thought I had a unique point of view about gaming. I decided to jump into web video—a world I knew very little about—to express it. Who knew there was anyone out there who wanted to listen?