An Absolutely Remarkable Thing (The Carls, #1)

by Hank Green

Being annoyed by carefully crafted internet personas was part of my carefully crafted internet persona.

It turns out pundits don’t want to talk about what’s happened; they want to use what’s happened to talk about the same things they talk about every day.

As is often the case, it was the easier choice to make and the more difficult choice to live with.

With the following words I give you the power to save or destroy me: My password is ‘donkeyfart.’”

And here’s the moment when a sane person could have healed the situation. It would be very easy to separate all of this. It would probably have been a good idea to put some space between the “We Are Not Alone in the Universe” talk and the “I Want to Grab Power and Do Good with It” talk and the “I Am Terrified of Our Relationship” talk. But I wanted to turn the fight into a breakup—the idea of “us” couldn’t compete with the idea of “April May”—so I burned it all down.

He was one of thousands of people who scraped by filtering reality through their ideology and then yelling really loudly at the internet.

there’s a big difference between an isolated troll and a movement. This was a movement, and I had completely misidentified, or willfully ignored, it.

I (and, of course, every news channel out there) was confirming the idea that there were two sides you could be on. It was a huge mistake, and also great for views.

I know that you are a good person, but the last thing you need is some other sign from heaven that you are special.”

My feel-good brain goodies had been going all night and now it was over. You’d think I’d peacefully cuddle into my fancy hotel bed and drop off to a delicious sleep, but no. This is what rock stars feel like after their concerts . . . This is why they have after-parties with groupies and cocaine. You want to keep the high going, but you can’t rock forever, I guess.

It’s not really “news” until they stop running ads.

We are irrational beings, easy to manipulate if you’re willing to do whatever it takes.

I have no idea why I can’t ever shut the fuck up. That’s what I should’ve named this book. I Have No Idea Why I Can’t Ever Shut the Fuck Up: The April May Story.

As far as I was concerned, we were already at peak weird.

It struck me then how very much she was indeed quite like me. As if, maybe, there was real kinship that I might have with this person who was more a symbol than a human.

If you pay attention, there is only one story that makes sense, and that is one in which humanity works together more and more since we took over this planet.