“Now, full disclosure, I did not make this eggnog.” He waves the thermos at me. “But your cool granny said I could have it. She’s very worried about the state of your sex life, by the way, and wants to know if you’ve been using the exercise dildo she bought you for Christmas last year. I assured her I’d ask.” I cough as the eggnog-flavored rum burns my throat. “So…” He nudges me. “Geez, this is strong.” I cough again. “No, Gumdrop, stay on topic. The vaginal stretcher.” “I burned it.” “What?”
