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The deep, manly voice coming from ahead of me. A voice that had matured. It was coarser, near to abrasive, but I knew that voice. I’d never forget that voice.
Beautiful. So beautiful. And he once was mine. Then I’d let him go.
was going to explode. You love a man, Millie, you believe in him, you take him as he is. You go on his journey with him no matter what happens, even if that means you have to walk through fire.
Something moved over her face. Not pain. Not fear. Emptiness. No. Armor. Shit.
Logan using me, taking advantage for his revenge fuck, then speaking to me the way he did, killing what we had, turning love to hate.
There were pictures of her cuddling her niece and nephew, smiling huge, looking happy at the same time disturbingly sad.
Millie had not only been a ghost plaguing him the past twenty years. She’d lived like one. She didn’t exist.
I took another step back and did it wondering how I managed it. Truthfully, his words caused so much damage it was actually a wonder I was still standing. Breathing. Living.
“I’m done walking through fire for you, High!” I yelled. “I’m done not because I’m done but because there’s nothing left of me to burn. You have it all! You’ve always had it all! I gave up everything so you could have it all! Please! God! Leave me to my nothing!” I swung an arm out to their table. “And if you gave one single shit about me, ever, make them let me have my nothing!”
You love a man, Millie, you believe in him, you take him as he is. You go on his journey with him no matter what happens, even if that means you have to walk through fire.
Put him in my fucking, fucking rearview. My love for him. My longing for him. My grief for all we’d lost. My sorrow for all we’d never have.
I thought I was dead inside. Gone. Faded away. So how could he keep killing me?
Walkin’ around with a hole in my soul.
It hurt, God, it hurt. The pain was unbearable. And it felt utterly, impossibly, magnificently beautiful.
“I love you,” he declared. “Loved you then. Love you now. Never quit lovin’ you in a way I know I never will. You were it for me, the only one, the only woman I ever loved, and you never quit bein’ it. So I think you can get how I cannot find words to explain how fuckin’ pleased I am that you’re back.”
When he heard his phone ring, High opened his eyes, seeing, smelling, and feeling Millie. This meant for the first time in two decades, Logan “High” Judd woke up smiling.
“I have mine. You saw it. I never changed mine because that never changed. And honest to God, I don’t know what’s worse. The pain of knowing I threw that away. I should have told you. I should have never let you go. Or the humiliation at admitting to you mine stayed true. It stayed completely true. It was only you. It was always only you, Logan. No boyfriend, no lover, hell, not even that first fucking date. Twenty years without you and it was always… only.… you.”
“Millie, I was given one good thing in my life, the family I was born into. I found one good thing, my Club. I made two good things, my babies. But in all my life, I only earned one good thing. That’s you.”
“All the rest of days, every one, every day since I first laid eyes on you. Today’s no different. Fuck of it was, even when I didn’t have you, I felt it. Which was why I never let go. And today’s no different. No different from every day I had from the first day we met. Waking up in love with you. Day’s almost done, gonna go to sleep more in love with you.”
