The Way of Grace: Finding God on the Path of Surrender (Renovare Resources)

by Glandion Carney

In those days Glandion was a model of strength and courage. He remains strong and courageous today, but in a very different way. You see, Glandion has Parkinson’s disease. Nowadays he struggles even to button his shirt or to stand without falling. In unsparing detail he shares the story with us in The Way of Grace. At one point he writes, “No matter how old you are or how many degrees you have or don’t have—when grace takes you to school, you start in kindergarten.”

This is a book about grace, God’s “amazing grace.” To be sure, the context within which Glandion shares his experience of grace is Parkinson’s disease, which is debilitating in virtually every detail of his life. But it is not a sad or disheartening book. On the contrary, while taking us deeply into the wounds of Parkinson’s, The Way of Grace is also richly refreshing. It is, as Glandion puts it, a “chosen path” in the midst of life’s circumstances.

Grace is God’s favor, God’s gift, God’s wonder-filled care for us. In this particular context it is God working with Glandion to enable him to do...

However, the most common way God imparts his grace to us is through an interactive, cooperative relationship in which God and we are working together. The reason this is grace is that the results are always in excess of the effort we put in. God works with us and alongside us, enabling us to do what we could never do in our own strength.

One reason this is God’s customary means of imparting his grace to us is that through this process something quite amazing happens, something quite beyond the specific need or task at hand. Slowly, over time and experience, we become the friend of God. Step by step, we grow accustomed to

God’s presence. We begin entering a with-Go...

Now, this “with-God kind of life” immerses us into a hidden reservoir of divine love and power, bringing into our lives God’s divine life, God’s zōē. This zōē life from God is unquenchable and indestructible. It is, in truth, “eternal life” as the Bible says. It has a principle of its own. No one owns it but God alone. And God graciously imparts his divine zōē life to us more and more as we become immersed into this “with-God kind of life.” In time, this zōē life from God forms us into communities of grace that are enabled to express God’s life and love through our own lives, individually and corporately. In The Way of Grace we discover the multiplied ways this zōē life from God enters Glandion Carney’s daily experience and sustains him. Indeed, it causes hi...

I would begin a sentence and then midway I would not know where the thought was going.

He shined a light in my eyes and then said simply, “You have Parkinson’s disease.”

There was no brilliant logic to apply. There were no prayers to pray. There was no believing or trusting in God for the future of my life in general or my ministry. All was blank, as if erased. I walked out of his office in a fog. When I got to my car I wept like a baby, leaning on the steering wheel for support. I called my wife and told her. “The doctor says I have Parkinson’s.”

Marion dropped what she was doing at work and came home to sit with me in silence. That’s when feeling nothing moved to darkness and hopelessness. Like Job and his friend in Scripture, we sat in the ash heap of despair.

The “gift of tears” written about by the desert elders and several centuries later by St. Ignatius of Loyola are not about finding meaning in our pain and suffering. They do not give answers but instead call us to a deep attentiveness to the longings of our heart. They continue to flow until we drop our masks and self-deception and return to the source of our lives and longing. They are a sign that we have crossed a threshold into a profound sense of humility.1

I

couldn’t come up with any longing in my heart, except for this new diagnosis to be recalled. It was easier to deceive myself with the drug of denial than to begin the hard work of acceptance.

The physician recommended I seek physical therapy. He reminded me this disease would take its toll over time; to slow the process I needed to change my lifestyle. Get more rest. Exercise more. Start medication. Eat well. It was all so overwhelming.

When I got up the courage, I made an appointment with the physical therapist. I walked into the rehab hospital not knowing what to expect. I was blown away. Hunchbacked patients, shaking violently, were straining to remain balanced while they walked. Most were suffering with the visible effects of Lou Gehrig’s disease, multiple sclerosis or Parkinson’s. So many diseases and disabilities were represented—you name it and they had it. I saw myself in them and I was scared.

left and did not go back for a year. I have never confessed this to anyone before now.

This was not supposed to be my journey. How could I face it?

had no direction or sense of destination. I didn’t even have a compass. The nothingness I had felt earlier turned into a dark shadow of gray with shades of anger. I was on a journey with no end in sight, not one I wanted, anyway. Severe difficulties had suddenly been thrus...

he explained that Parkinson’s is a disorder of the brain that leads to shaking and difficulty with walking, movement and coordination, and it continues to get worse. Seeing the immediate tears in my eyes, he came to my side, took me by the hand and said, “Just pray, Glandion. God will show you the way.”

I refused to do so.

“Glandion, you don’t trust me. You say you do, but you don’t. You masquerade and cover up your weaknesses. You hide because you will not accept what I have allowed.”

to admit my weakness and come to the truth.

“As your priest, today I need to make a confession. I have Parkinson’s disease. I have been covering up my weakness, and I need to share it openly. I’m trying to accept it as a grace. I hope you will pray for me.” Many came up afterward to speak to me: “My weakness is drug addiction,” “My weakness is pornography,” “My weakness is controlling others,” “My weakness is alcoholism.” We wept together, held by a powerful cord of acceptance and confession. The spiritual director in me wanted to sit down with each of them over a cup of coffee to validate their experiences of integrity, honesty and true confession. You see, my conviction is that we don’t walk alone on the path of faith. We explore it together, learning about grace, trials and new beginnings. We may have different paths on the journey, but we all end at the same destination—the discovery of God’s faithfulness in whatever we face.

But how could I express this truth to them when I had not experienced it myself? I admitted my weakness and began to accept it. Now I had to act on it. It was the first step to healing and freedom. There would be many others.

was ready to do the work.

eyes.

Their eyes conveyed hope, courage and a will to overcome. The grace of acceptance allowed me to see them in a different light. Instead of running away from these fellow sufferers, I was motivated to join them. And I was moved to offer up de...

Just as Much Afraid took the hands of her companions Sorrow and Suffering, I took the first step of acceptance. Without realizing it, I had been blocking grace by refusing to be humbled. Now I made the choice to embrace a different way to live and a fresh power to love through God’s empowering grace. I had no idea what lay ahead. But I was ready.

In the course of Much Afraid’s journey to the High Places, she faced tremendous difficulties. After each mountain was scaled or each terror was over, she would put a small stone in the pouch around her waist. They became trophies of grace, remembrances of all that the Shepherd had brought her

through. In the end they were turned into beautiful jewels, placed in a crown for her to wear.

They once seemed heavy, but now they are weightless. They are so much a part of me that I could not live without them. God’s grace has been manifested to me in beautiful yet challenging ways. He gives this kind of grace to all of us—if we learn to recognize, accept and embrace it to live victoriously in this world.

As

I began to look differently at my circumstances, I wanted God to show me all the rooms in my castle. I especially wanted to see the principal chamber where he and I could hold the most secret intercourse. And I was anxious to be enlightened about the grace he would bestow.

On this journey into grace, I was led to see Jesus as one who both gave and modeled grace in his earthly life. It started with his acceptance to come to this world. Philippians 2:6-8 speaks of his willingness to be humbled and to empty himself of the rights of heaven in order to take his assignment on earth. Chris Tiegreen has explained this truth by writing, “Jesus went from heavenly riches to earthly rags, from exaltation to humiliation, from authority to obedience, from ultimate significance to ultimate rejection, from comfort to hardship, from safety to danger, from glory to sacrifice, and from life to death. And he calls us to go into the world in exactly the same way!”3

Grace is simply God’s unmerited favor. In other words, he gives us what we don’t deserve (grace) and doesn’t give us what we do deserve (judgment) because of Jesus’ death on the cross. But it’s more intimate than that: Grace is God’s blessing overflowing into our lives. To experience God’s grace is to open gift upon gift of comfort, companionship and empowerment. In his grace God saves us, strengthens us and sanctifies us. He freely offers us the gift of grace, but we must accept it.

“We know grace as a noun, but Max tells us to think of grace as a verb. It is an action. It’s not enough to read about grace; we must experience it.”4

If Jesus is full of grace and truth, and he is in us, then we too can experience lives full of grace and truth. What a privilege!

The “way of grace” is the phrase I have used to describe the journey. Whether we embark on this road is up to us. It can be the chosen path or a

rejected course. God offers it freely and openly. He will ...

God issues an invitation to venture to a new land. It is much like the children of Israel journeying to the Promised Land. There are dangers and giants in this foreign country, but there are also mysteries to be revealed and provisions along the way that only God can give. The invit...

We start with the grace of acceptance (chapter one), for it was the first step of many in letting go of the control I thought I had. For me, it became a three-step process of acceptance, submission and relinquishment (continued in chapters two and three). The grace of acceptance is not a new concept but one that must be experienced before moving on. God’s coming alongside to extend grace, not just once but every day, humbles me as he pours out grace upon grace. Acceptance is simply this: I receive God’s invitation or offer and willingly embrace what he gives. I come to terms with the fact that I don’t have all the answers. I accept his gift of grace even when it comes alongside illness, weakness or death. I move from a place of depression, self-pity and denial into the grace of acceptance.

an alcoholic, abusing a substance in order to find peace a bad husband, seeking mental and emotional health from others while neglecting my wife a disbelieving priest, all the while acting out the role of a life lived in faith

Instead of thinking about death, I began to embrace life. Instead of ignoring people who were handicapped, I prayed for them. When I needed help, I asked for it, even from strangers. Instead of hiding, I tried to live openly and honestly about my condition. Even though I still had tears, I welcomed laughter. Instead of being afraid to open up to others, I relished deep, honest relationships.

Grace enlarges the capacity of our heart. It allows us to be guided into truth. It gives us courage to accept and a reason to celebrate, and opens our

eyes to glimpse wonders from God.

The foundation for experiencing this unique call is the knowledge that we are saved by grace, live by grace and are filled with grace if we are...

“Grace, you know, doesn’t have to do with forgiveness of sins alone. Grace is for all of life.”

“What happens after grace? Is there anything after grace? The answer is no; there is just grace.” The greatest thing I want to experience and pass on to others is the reality and totality of God’s grace: How to apply it to any situation and be nurtured and empowered by it. It is greater than we could ever imagine.

What about you? What is the circumstance or difficulty that is hard for you to embrace? It may look completely different from mine, but no one gets through life without a cross to bear, a thorn to embrace or a difficulty to overcome.