Kindle Notes & Highlights
PENELOPE, You were the only good thing I ever believed in.
When I told you I loved you, it wasn’t teenage nonsense. It was the only truth I had. You were the pulse that kept me from ending it all on the nights my foster family decided I wasn’t worth feeding. You were my reason to crawl out of basements and blood. You were my proof that something gentle could survive inside me.
And you destroyed it. I’ve tried to tell myself it was a mistake, that maybe I didn’t see what I saw — but the mind is cruel, Penelope. It replays things in perfect detail when you most want to forget. The shape of your body under his arm. I can’t unsee it. I can’t unhear it. You taught me love could hurt more than fists. You t...
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You used me, played me for a fool, your promises as empty as the wind. Every letter we hid under that loose brick, every whispered vow, was a lie. You were my light, my only refuge, and you extinguished it without a care. You promised me, at twenty-five, you’d be my bride, your words a melody that soothed my battered soul. I believed you, Penelope, wi...
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While I risked everything—sneaking past my aunt’s iron grip, enduring her vile punishments to steal moments with you—you gave your heart, your body, to another. At fifteen, you lay with him, your skin pressed to his in a betrayal that sears my memory. I wish your name didn’t taste like prayer when I whisper it. I wish your memory didn’t feel like home. But I’ll carry you with me, even when I try to bury what’s left of that boy you once loved. You’ll remember me one day — not as the broken foster boy who worshiped you, but as the man your betrayal created. I leave for Russia now, to reclaim a
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My mother — the only person who had come for me. And Penelope Romano — the girl I’d loved with every piece of my ruined heart — had betrayed me deeper than anyone ever could.
“You were my light once, Penelope,” he murmured. “The one thing that made the world bearable. But now, every time I see you, all I can think of is the night they took her.”
“I don’t... I don’t remember ever being with anyone else. I swear to God, I wasn’t. I loved you—only you. Someone... someone must have set me up, made it look like something it wasn’t. They wanted to keep us apart... wanted you to hate me.”
“I never got your letter,” I said softly, desperate now. “The one you said you left in my room. I never saw it, Dmitri. I would have written back. I would have found you.”
“I know. Your father found it first. That letter—you never saw it because he took it. The day I brought you to meet him, when he came all the way from New York to Lake Como, he smuggled a letter into your hand before he left. You hid it under your pillow, planning to read it later. I saw it before you woke... and I couldn’t let you read it.”
“It was too late anyway. The pain it would have caused... the guilt, the memories... that was one of the reasons I stayed away for four months. Not because I didn’t want you, but because I couldn’t survive watching you...”
“the image of you in his arms—my mother’s blood on your hands —your lies—it’s burned into me. Into my soul. I can’t unsee it, Penelope. I can’t forgive it. And I sure as hell can’t forget it.”
“I... I love you,” I choked out, the words tearing themselves free through my tears.
“Penelope...” he said, almost softly. “You poor, deluded girl.”
“I will never... love you.”
“No one will ever love you the way you want. Do you know why?” His thumb brushed my trembling lip, deceptively tender. “Because I won’t allow it. You ruined me, Penelope... and now, I’ll ruin you.”
“Completely,” he whispered, his gaze unwavering. “Our wreckage will be shared — buried side by side — because I’ll never let you go.”
“I’ll be your end, Penelope,” he murmured, his voice almost tender now. “And you’ll be mine.”
“I hate you, Penelope.”
“Do you know what terrifies me most?” he said, his voice shaking despite the steel in it, “It’s the thought of you dying and leaving me behind.”
“I can’t breathe in a world where you don’t exist. So I’ll keep you alive in the only way I know—by tearing you apart piece by piece, until every part of you remembers me.”
Something inside me broke—not from fear, but sorrow. Because I saw it then.
He didn’t hate me; he hated himself. And every wound he inflicted on me was another attempt to silence the screaming inside him. My heart cracked.
“So you may live, Penelope... to grow old at my side, drowning in our shared ruin, our endless suffering.
“You’ve been sleeping with her,”
“You used her like a weapon to hurt me. Fine — lock me up, humiliate me, tell yourself it’s justice. But don’t pretend you’re brave. You’re just a man who hides behind cruelty.”
“You said you hate me?” I screamed, the words shredding my throat. “Then hate me—but know I fucking hate you too, Dmitri! You hear me? I hate you—for every lie, every bruise, every night I still loved you!”
“You’re a monster, Dmitri!” I screamed, my voice echoing down the hall. “You killed the only part of me that ever loved you.” I sobbed. “I’ll never forgive you for it.”
“It’s been two days, boss,” he said. “She won’t eat. She refuses to take the food I leave. You have to release her.”
Wait I thought she had an asthma attack? In the last book she almost died?
“Order her released, boss. I know you hate that she’s there. Let us find a punishment that keeps you in control without burying her alive.”
“The drug is safe. I checked the dosage twice. I wouldn’t do anything that’d hurt your wife—no matter how much you try to convince yourself she’s the enemy.”
“You don’t want her dead, boss,” he said, each word like it cost him. “I’m begging you. She’s weak. She bled after the pills. If she’s left in that dark she’ll die slow and pointless. Let her out — for God’s sake, let her out so this doesn’t end with her on some slab.”
“So she can slip away?” I said, voice low. “So she can keep meeting my brothers, her ex, plotting to run?” I
“Now I see it,” Giovanni said, steady as a blade. “You didn’t lock her up only because she shot you. You locked her because you’re terrified she’ll slip from your fingers. What then—lock her forever?”
I know what you are when you love — and when you break. I’m asking you not to bury her to prove a point.”
“Answer me.” The plea was buried under the command, because I couldn’t afford a plea.
“Penelope,” I said again, louder, forcing steel through the panic. “This is your last chance. If you don’t respond, I leave today. I’ll walk away.” The lie tasted metallic. I wouldn’t leave her to die. I couldn’t. But I needed her to know the shape of my threat. For now, the bluff hung in the air, a thin thing I dared not test too soon.
“I’ll obey you, master... I’ll do everything you want... please... free me from the dark... I’m dying... save me, master...” Each word landed like a lash.
“Master... don’t punish me again... please...” she whispered, voice slurring, her eyes rolling shut as if the world had finally abandoned her.
She flinched against it, and I froze at the sight—her forehead split, blood streaking down her face, her lips cracked and gray, her body shivering despite the heat blazing through her. God... what have I done?
I’d gone too far. Broken something I could never repair. Hatred and love tangled so deep I couldn’t tell one from the other anymore. I carried her down the grand staircase, my boots striking marble like gunfire.
Penelope’s faint murmurs filled the car—“Master... please... forgive me...”—each one cutting deeper, a lash against the conscience I’d buried long ago. I’d done this.
I’d destroyed the only person who had ever looked at me without fear.
She was my everything—my ruin, my obsession—and I’d broken her beyond recognition.
“No...” I rasped. “Nothing must happen to her. Penelope, you can’t leave me...”
“I hadn’t meant to go that far,” I said before he could speak. The confession slipped out raw. “I meant to punish. To bend her. To prove ownership.” My throat tightened. “Not this. Not near death.”
Penelope’s fragile lungs had been my reason to quit. My restraint was her legacy—one of the few things left of her that wasn’t drenched in blood.
“Boss, I know you’re loyal to Penelope. Obsessively so.
“You have bigger battles to fight—starting with keeping her alive.”
Penelope... she’d be exposed, soft and bleeding, a prize for men who knew no mercy. I almost laughed at the irony—destroying her, only to lose my mind over the thought of losing her for good. Obsession never lied. It was brutal, raw, honest in its cruelty. I stood. Enough. I needed to see her.
