And I’ve lived just fine with Vitali for years. I know exactly how to be in love with him from within my isolated space. But I don’t know how to be in love with him like this, with him constantly breaking through my carefully built walls. And it’s not even that I’m afraid he’ll realize that I’m in love with him. What I’m really afraid of is how my need for him, which I’ve kept small and controlled and invisible for years, is exploding into something way too big, something beyond my ability to control.
