The Island

by Briar Prescott

My heart is in his hands, and he doesn’t even know it.

Aunt Nina approaches mourning like the stages of grief are a handy, efficient, step-by-step guide. Week one, we’re in denial. Week two it’s anger. Then we swiftly move through bargaining and depression and bada bing, bada boom, we’ve reached our destination of acceptance. Pack up Uncle Jon’s clothes for Goodwill, and we’re done. Thank you for taking the grief express with us.

I was an afterthought.

Parker is the kind of friend Aunt Nina thinks I should hang out with, and he’s also coincidentally the kind of “friend” who makes me want to stick toothpicks into my eyeballs.

“I want to belong,”

“I want to be part of a family. For real. I want traditions and movie nights and my own spot at the dinner table. But most of all, I want people. Lots of people. And… I don’t want to be alone.”

“See? We’re already making plans.” I smile back, still just a bit hesitant. “Am I in them?” I ask jokingly. He sees right through me because his eyes get a soft look in them. “In every sentence on every page.”

Preston says it’s “boys being boys.” I guess. Only… I’m a boy, and that’s not the kind of person I want to be. The boys-will-be-boys kind of person.

“If I ever hear you speak to him again, I will knock all your teeth out and feed them to you one by one,” he snarls, pushing Parker’s face harder into the ground. “Same goes for your pathetic friends. Get it?”

“Say it,” Adrian grits through his teeth. “Say ‘I will not fuck with Dylan.’” Parker struggles some more. His nostrils flare as he breathes out with a snotty sound. “I will not fuck with Dylan,” he mutters after a few more seconds.

“You should’ve told me he was still pulling that shit.” I look away. “It doesn’t matter.” “It matters to me!” My eyes fly back to Adrian. “You matter to me,” he snaps.

“There’s such a thing as being too supportive,” I say while he laughs softly and taps his temple against mine. “Never. Not when it comes to us.”

My heart is in his hands, and he’s squeezing it. And he doesn’t even know.

Dylan? Back me up on this.” “Dylan is mine. Find your own friend to make your point.”

“I should make you go,” he says. “I know I should. But honestly, I have no idea how any of us would make it without you here.” I pull him into a hug. “You know it works the other way, too, right? I also have a plan.” He lets out a long, shaky breath. “Am I in it?” “Every sentence,” I say. “Every page.”

“Aww, sweetie. I don’t think anybody can stop him if you need him, not even me.”

“I knew you two were a package deal.

It’s a specific kind of torture. To watch the man you love. Fall in love. With somebody else.

As close as I am to my family, Dylan’s the only one who knows me like this. On another level. Knows me like we share a brain.

It’s just hard not to feel like I’m being replaced. There, I said it. I feel like I’m being replaced by this Indy person, and I don’t like it. Dylan’s mine. No, that doesn’t sound great either. But he is. He’s mine. So this Indy or whoever should find his own Dylan.

I just want to know that I still have a place with him, too. That I’m still a part of him.

He’s only slipping away if I let him, so I’m just not going to. Problem solved.

I just reach out my hand and clutch his limp fingers to make sure he’s still there.

“I wouldn’t stay here without you anyway, so let’s just do it together.”

I would like nothing more than for my brain to stop fucking with me

In case it wasn’t obvious yet that I’m a bit fucked up.

Fuck, I miss the internet, because I have so many questions every fucking day and no way to find answers.

“I’m most grateful for you.”

two years on the island.

Please don’t leave me here alone. Please.” I press my lips to the clammy skin of his neck. “Wherever you go, I’ll follow,”

People… They annoy me. There are too many of them.

She was meant for me. But Dylan… Dylan is mine. My whole life. He’s always been mine. Mine and nobody else’s.

Our souls fit. I’ve known it since the moment I met her. That she’s special. That she’ll change my life for good.

Because… because my soul also fits with Dylan. And it’s not just that it fits with Dylan… My soul is in sync with Dylan’s. Perfect harmony. I understand him without saying a word. I feel what he feels.

“I want to know your heart belongs to me,” I say. “It does,” he says. Earnestly. My God he’s earnest.

This will always be our foundation. You’re my best friend. That’ll always be the baseline for us, no matter what.”

“There’s nobody else in the world who knows me like you do.”

“I have loved you from the moment we met,”

Because you are the one for me. Always have been. There’s nobody else. Only you.”

I don’t just love you. You own me. All of me. Body and soul.”

“I love you,” he says in a low voice, with the kind of fierceness that settles in my bones and lingers there. “It’s not just you who feels this way. You’re my everything.”

There’s nowhere else I can be other than here with you. It’s you,” he says. “My heart wants you.”

“I sometimes think the only reason I was put on this earth is to love you.”

“Then let me love you right back. For the rest of our days.”

“I’m scared.” It’s hard to admit it, but I want him to know anyway. “Terrified, to be exact.” “I’m not. I’m just yours.”

“You’re my life,” I whisper into his mouth. “I will do anything to keep you.” “You have me.” “Love me,” I demand. Because I can. “Always,” he promises.