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“It means as much as I say I wanna have your baby… I don’t know if I really mean it… right now.”
“Neeka, love, I think you misunderstood me.” Denny turned and looked her dead in the eyes. “I love you, baby… I really do.” Neeka smiled faintly and felt there was more. And there was. “…but if you kill whatever is growing inside of you… which is mine, a part of me. I’m sure all of that love would vanish. And I will seriously hurt you… I will most likely murder you.”
Woah!
“But where are you going? You don’t have anywhere else to go.” Neeka froze, looked up to him in shock. She shook her head from side to side in awe. “And that’s how you want it, right? You like that, huh… well I’m going to a hotel. Or maybe I’ll go stay with Brianna. Don’t ever think you have me trapped. I’m not trapped anywhere. I need to be alone for a minute... I need to think about what the fuck I’m doing.”
“Neeka, let me just tell you, though. There’s a difference between acting careless and being careless. There’s a difference between acting crazy… and truly not giving a fuck… excuse my language.”
“I’ve always admired the strength in Denny, you know… I knew it was a strength unlike my own. It was in one way more potent, similar to his father’s. The kind of strength that made people stop speaking when you walked into the room, made them look to you in times of crisis. A leader’s strength. I admired it. And I admired his… courage, his bravery, even if it came across a little wild at times... But Neeka, there’s nothing admirable about watching your fourteen-year-old son bash in a grown man’s head for taking your mother’s parking space.”
RUNNNNNNN!!!!!
Neeka there is really no other way to say this so I’m just going to have to come right out. At fifteen years old Denny was diagnosed with a special case of psychosis, blended of a mild form of schizophrenia and bipolar type 1 disease. He has also been declared at his adult screening as a sociopath. And hell, at one time they were even monitoring him for Dissociative Identity Disorder or more known as uh, split personalities,”
Wowwwww!
“You gonna leave me now, right?”
Your addictive personality has you using, let me correct myself… supplementing Neeka for your therapy. Before Neeka, it was what, the tattoos… the pain helped you relax, you were abusing that. But ever since meeting Neeka you have become fixated on her, addicted to the feeling that she creates within you. And while I did tell you in the beginning that a healthy relationship was possible and could even be beneficial, you seemed to take it to a new extreme, instead of allowing Neeka to become an addition to your development, your moods, sanity, and happiness have become dependent on her. This is
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“Neeka, I think you’re afraid to marry Denny and you’re using your father as an excuse.”
“I think that you know very well that your father will never give his blessing… and as long as he doesn’t then you’ll never have to marry Denny… then you’ll never have to marry his disease.”
“I think you love Denny but deep down inside… you’re afraid of him. And you’re afraid of being trapped with him.”
“Neeka, I don’t want you to feel guilty about any feelings you may have. We can talk privately but I think it’s best for Denny, as a sort of advancement breakthrough, to see what issues you may be dealing with as well. How his sickness affects you. Neeka, you are a very young girl living a very adult life. The responsibility of marriage and motherhood, not to mention dealing full time with a person with mental illnesses such as Denny, is overwhelming to women twice your age.”
You knew what you were doing when you threatened Denny to leave the house for a while, didn’t you? After the hug with his friend…? You knew what he would think, how he would think. You’ve been dealing with his sickness for five years and you’re telling me you don’t know what sets him off? You were punishing him for his behavior. You were angry and you lashed out. You know that he’s constantly worried about you leaving ever since your first breakup all those years back. It’s not healthy for either one of you to test the boundaries like that.”
‘Neeka… can you honestly say… at 23-years-old that you’re ready to marry Denny…make a lifetime commitment to a man with multiple mental illnesses? Denny, please no offense to you… but Neeka… you are aware that this is a man who has been tested and declared by various observations a sociopath, a psychopathic personality with criminal behavior who lacks moral responsibility or social conscious? A schizophrenic, with delusional tendencies who cannot always think clearly and have normal emotional responses. Not to mention, bipolar type 1 with manic full-blown outbursts, severe symptoms where he
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“I mean, I can up your dose of Clozapine, we can try more outpatient therapy sessions but you’d have to actually show up or I can even recommend some inpatient therapy sessions, but I’m afraid that this issue here is much larger than my scope of remedies. There are things you two have to work out for the sake of yourselves, and your child. My advice… I know there is love here. I can feel it, kinetic energy between the two of you it’s… well, truthfully, it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever witnessed. But… what I want to know is… do you love each other enough… to stop loving each other.”
I remember my father saying shit like that to us all the time. Denaché, I’ll never hurt y’all. I’ll never hurt y’all. I’d kill myself first. And he did. That shit still hurt, though. But it was the smartest move, the best option of hurt.
“Atlantis… …is back to you… I’ll always… …Come back to you…”
“Neeka…,” he spoke, with a tad of bass in his tone, bringing her back to earth. “I’m serious. If you ever leave, promise me, love. Like the song… you’ll always come back to me.”
“I’ll always come back to you.”
“Atlantis… …is back to you. I’ll always… …come back to you…”
