My Boyfriends Are All Monsters

by Kimberly Lemming

I was not particularly superstitious, but a raven standing in the middle of the trail, staring a bitch down, did not seem like the best omen.

“This is what I get for taking my Black ass out in nature. This fresh air is an attack. I could have been home with a margarita, watching Love Is Blind. That’s it; I’m swearing off men. Dating is the evil of this world, and I will find a convent to become a fucking nun.”

Ruling over a populace as a god and feasting on foolish travelers did not prepare you on how to properly soothe a potential mate. Why was dating so difficult?