My Boyfriends Are All Monsters
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Read between September 30 - September 30, 2025
15%
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Anything for my newest acolyte. No. Anything for my Priestess.
31%
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“Now do what the doctor says and let me take care of you.”
62%
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He flashed a smile that sent my pulse racing. “Good girl.” His gaze fell to my lips, and something intense flashed in his eyes.
65%
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Idk. Small town folks are weird. And horny, apparently. 32 Kira: What in the Stardew Valley?
67%
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“Ese pinche cabrón te dejó perdida y ¿para qué? ¿Para qué todavía quieras quedarte con él? No mames, con tus pendejadas.”
68%
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If there was ever a time to throw caution to the wind and make messy breakup decisions, it’s now. Lucy, as your friend and as a mother of two who lives vicariously through you, we need this. Fuck the doctor and text the idiot you’re done. Now.”
71%
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“Oh, is that what hemlock looks like?”
78%
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Ruling over a populace as a god and feasting on foolish travelers did not prepare you on how to properly soothe a potential mate. Why was dating so difficult?
80%
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“I want that too. But more than that, I don’t want to let you go. I want to touch you, taste and savor all that you are until my name cries from your lips like a prayer. Tell me your desires and I’ll craft a life so beautiful you’ll wake each morning with a smile on your face.”
84%
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Let the record show that when Lucy Sawyer was presented with a gift from a literal god, I did not squander it.
89%
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“There’s three of you, aren’t there? Why choose?” “I’ll try to be gentle.” “Literally nobody told you to do that.”
92%
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“Let every myth and monster in these mountains know that from this day till the end of days, you’re mine.”
95%
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“Should I expect an army storming my town upon the morn as your friends come to rescue you, or do I have more time to enjoy you before siege preparations must be made?”