My Boyfriends Are All Monsters

by Kimberly Lemming

“I wish to be loved no matter what. The cheesy, happy kind of love that you see in those Hallmark movies 8where everyone and their mother is contractually obligated to own a bakery or a golden retriever. And none of the men have girl best friends that so obviously want to fuck them!”

This fresh air is an attack. I could have been home with a margarita, watching Love Is Blind. That’s it; I’m swearing off men. Dating is the evil of this world, and I will find a convent to become a fucking nun.”

“Ese pinche cabrón te dejó perdida y ¿para qué? ¿Para qué todavía quieras quedarte con él? No mames, con tus pendejadas.”

I want to touch you, taste and savor all that you are until my name cries from your lips like a prayer. Tell me your desires and I’ll craft a life so beautiful you’ll wake each morning with a smile on your face.”