Space Vampire

by Ruby Dixon

“There is a mess,” Captain Obvious the clone tells me. “You are not wearing shoes.” “They don’t give me shoes. Poodle, remember? I get to keep my cute little toesies on the cold floorsies because my master is a huge dicksies and thinks it’s cutesy.” “. . . what?” “Never mind. I hate being a pet and I’m venting and talking nonsense.”