Hot for Slayer

by Ali Hazelwood

“As long as you don’t let anyone get to you before I do, Aethelthryth.” “Oh, don’t worry. I’ll always save myself for you.”

oh jesus christ

When he noticed my eyes on him, he lifted the blade up to his face. And with a smile that did not feel like a smile, he began to lick it clean of my blood.

add this to a list of things ali hazelwood has written that i didn't know i was into

Today, nearly thirty-six years after that night in Germany, his arms wrap tight around me, his body is a heavy blanket above mine, and his only purpose seems to be shielding me from the sunlight. Today, Lazlo Enyedi saved my life.

reformed king

“Couldn’t bear to let someone else butcher me, huh?” “I know what’s mine,”

BARK

“It was one-sided,” he tells me after he’s done chewing. “From you.” “What?” “The dislike.” “I assure you, it was not.” “And I assure you, when I look at you, I feel anything but that.”

WHEN I LOOK AT YOU I FEEL ANYTHING BUT THAT OHHHHH HORNY MEMORY LOSS LAZLO

“We both sleep on the couch,” he declares. “Together.” “We can’t sleep together.” “Are there laws against it?” “No.” “Then we sleep together.”

“I might not remember my name, or anything about who I am. But I could never be near you and not know exactly what you are to me.”

oh this is my new favorite quote ever probably

told you, Ethel. I know how I feel about you. And I know how you feel, too.” “And what would that—” He bends toward me slowly enough that I could conceivably stop him, but I don’t care to conceive of it—before his lips touch mine, or after.

WENUFJIDSVKXCM UJINK

“You don’t need to do anything. I do things. To you.”

OH DEAR GOD

“There is nothing that I could discover about you, or about myself, that would make me want to do this any less.”

“I know your smell. I know your skin. Your hair. It’s all familiar. I have it all memorized. And I dream of you—of this. So many dreams, all so different, we must have done it a million times, in a million different ways. Tell me what you’re hiding from me, let’s get this over with, and then let’s do it a million more times.”

please i need them

His entire purpose is to eliminate you, which . . . Doesn’t explain why his eyes, all of a sudden, seem so soft. Or the fact that instead of pushing me away, instead of hitting back with his own weapons and his own strength, he touches me tenderly. One hand lifts to cup my face, and he gently thumbs my cheekbone.

“Aethelthryth, nothing would make me happier than having you with me here, or in any other place that I will call home, for as long as I live. Please, come in.”

THIS IS BEFORE THEY DO OR ADMIT ANYTHING BTW

Very few interests. Just the one, really.” He glances in my direction. He’s talking about you,

SHES HER INTEREST

And looking at you, I couldn’t help but think that the world was better. Because you were in it.”

With a flex of his abs, he sits up from underneath me and presses his palm back to my mouth, a silent shut up with this nonsense and take all you want. So I do.

SHES TAKING ALL SHE WANTS OF HIM AFNEWKOSDLV CX

I can stop if you—” He turns us around until I’m underneath him, and it’s the loudest, most silent fuck no I’ve ever heard.

digital footprint found dead and deceased after this