How to Love (Mindfulness Essentials, #3)

by Thich Nhat Hanh

Of course, first you have to have trust, respect, and confidence in yourself.

listening to and embracing your suffering, and in helping you to recognize and

If a relationship can’t provide joy, then it’s not true love.

If you only like the best things in a person, that is not love. You have to accept her weaknesses and bring your patience, understanding, and energy to help her transform.

When a loved one is suffering a lot, he or she doesn’t have enough energy to embrace you and help you to suffer less. So it’s natural that you become disappointed. You think that the other person’s presence is no longer helpful to you. You may even wonder if you love this person anymore. If you’re patient and you practice taking care of yourself and the other person, you may have a chance to discover that the elements of goodness and beauty in the person you love are still there. Taking care of yourself, you can support your loved one and reestablish the joy in your relationship.

Compassion

Sometimes we haven’t had the time to understand ourselves, yet we’ve already found the object of our love. When we realize that all our hopes and expectations of course can’t be fulfilled by that person, we continue to feel empty.

Deep listening

Every person is a world to explore.

We should practice in such a way that every moment is fulfilling. We should feel satisfaction in every breath, in every step, in every action. This is true fulfillment.

Meditation consists of generating three kinds of energy: mindfulness, concentration, and insight.

Ask, “What would make you happy?”

So to love someone, you have to understand the real needs of that person, and not impose on her what you think is needed for her to be happy.

Understanding is the foundation of love.

If we take care of her well, she will grow beautifully. If we take care of her poorly, she will wither. To help a flower grow well, we must understand her nature. How much water and sunshine does she need?

log. Practicing to realize nondiscrimination, to see the interconnectedness and impermanence of all things, and to share this wisdom with others, we are giving the gift of nonfear.

Be a friend to yourself. If you are a true friend to yourself, you can be a true friend to a loved one. A romantic crush is short-lived, but friendship and loving kindness can last very long and continue to grow.

that, “Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward in the same direction.”

If a tree has only one root, it may be blown over by the wind.

Meditative joy has the capacity to nourish our mindfulness, understanding, and love. Live in a way that encourages deep happiness in yourself and others. You can vow to bring joy to one person in the morning and to help relieve the suffering of one person in the afternoon. Ask yourself, “Who can I make smile this morning?” This is the art of creating happiness.

The most precious inheritance that parents can give their children is their own happiness.

For example, instead of just saying, “I’m sorry I shouted at you,” you can train yourself not to shout so often. Instead of a quick apology, take the time and make the commitment to practice seeing the roots of your behavior.

LOVE MEDITATION