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To those of you who have ever felt too damaged to be loved or too broken to be fixed. This is for you.
I wished I could be an ordinary man…wished I didn’t have these responsibilities. All I desired was to be with Lena, to live, not just go through the motions as I had every day before meeting the fiery, red-headed beauty.
I’d actually written her a handful of poems and letters since I met her, but I still hadn’t found the courage to give them to her.
“You cannot let your will to live be tied to me, Silas. To anyone.” I shook my head as I recalled her final words to me. “You cannot leave me,” I wept quietly. “I need you. My life has no meaning without you.” “Because life is unfair, and tragedy can happen at any time.” I cried harder. I placed a kiss on her forehead, my tears dripping onto her burnt corpse. It was morbid…but it was Lena. My Lena. “You will not give up.” “I can’t…Lena,” I sobbed. “You will not break.” I struggled to breathe as I pictured her face. Her beautiful green eyes…her radiant smile. “Promise me.” My voice was barely a
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“I will always love you.” My trembling hand lowered to hold what remained of hers as I whispered, “I will find you in the afterlife, Lena. I promise.”
I am alive. They are gone. They aren’t here. I am safe. I couldn’t think about it, not now. I needed to focus on saving my people; my trauma could be dealt with later. They are gone. They aren’t here. I am safe.
“How can I not have drool on my face when I’m picturing you sitting on it?”
Even the feelings I felt between Edmund and my sister were not nearly as overpowering as what I felt from Silas as he gazed at Lena.
“It was not yours, either. You shouldn’t have gone through that alone.” My eyes locked on his. “I wasn’t alone,” I whispered. “You shouldn’t have gone through it…” his voice cracked, “…without…me."
“Would you have loved her back then if she told you what she was?” What would I have done if she told me she was a Mage? Would I have been disgusted by her? Would I have had her banished, or after the kill order was placed, have her murdered? Would I have loved her still, despite it all? My stare was unwavering as I replied quietly, “Nothing could’ve made me not love her.” And I knew as his eyes widened slightly, as they returned to an icy blue, he knew I was telling the truth.
