He Sees You When You're Sleeping

by Emily Antoinette

“Yeah, so I listened to some of their music, but then I squirreled away to turtles, and turtle penises.” I choke on my water and set it down, sputtering. “Turtle penises?” “Yeah, I’m trying to figure out if mine is based on anything in nature.” He is trying to kill me, or make my pussy explode. “And… is it based on a turtle?” Surely I can talk about this. It’s no big deal. I am dying to have sex with him again, but I can definitely talk about his amazing dick with zero issues. None. You know, except for the wet spot that’s definitely going to be on the chair when I stand up. For a second, I regret that I didn’t wear underwear under my short skirt, but the chair is just going to have to take one for the team. I’m fighting dirty today. “Nope. Though their dicks are wild. The end opens and closes like a flower.” “Jesus.”