Parachutes Book Three: The Impact

by Takerra Allen

“I can’t forget what you did,” she uttered. Although understandable, the redundancy was agonizing. “But I don’t want to, Vin. I want to remember it. Then, I want to remember the work we did to get past it. That’s if you want to keep doing the work.”

“I’ve been finding pockets of peace lately,” Tahli revealed, taking breaks from his eye contact before blessing him again. “And I’ve been getting back to myself. But there’s something missing,”

“And I know that you think I can’t be happy if I’m with you. Because I thought that, too. That I’d look at you and be reminded of what you did. But you not being there reminds me, too.” Tahli sniveled. “Taking you out of the equation doesn’t help me, Vin. Your absence is too big. You’re not there when I sleep…or when I eat. When I cry…”

“I don’t care, Vin. I don’t care who judges me, not even myself. I can do my life without you. I know that now. I think we’ve both learned that we’re capable of living without each other. But…I don’t want to, baby,”

“And there’s no excuse for what you did, but I know I didn’t create the safest space for communication between us.”

I have work to do, too. You’re still growing and I’m still growing, but I want to do this shit together. Because I love you now, and I’ll love you later. The next version of you, I’ll love his ass, too.”

“I know you. I trust you, Vin. And I truly, in the deepest part of my heart know you will do everything in your power to never hurt me. Fighting against how much I still love you has been like swimming against the fucking current. I’ve been swimming nonstop for two years, and baby, I’m exhausted.”

“Dalvin, you are mine.” Tahli slapped her chest. “...

The shit they had was unbreakable. Vin had never witnessed it. His examples of love had been murky. Tahli’s was better, but not perfect. But what had found them that summer of ’08 was unexplainable. It was beyond unexplainable…it was downright outrageous.

Their story was just a story, but they were the magic. They were the parachutes flying through the sky. The last two years were hell, but they made it through, feet scorched and all.

“Tahli Hall, I’m gonna fucking adore you until we’re old and gray if you give me the chance to. You don’t ever have to worry about me keeping shit else from you again. You hear me? I’m gonna be so fucking transparent with you, baby love, you gonna hate it. I’m talking about every time I eat, sleep, fucking piss…”

“I can’t believe you’re here. Tahli, I swear to God, I’ll never jeopardize you again.” “I think I know that,” she gifted him unexpected trust.

shaking her head. “We both handled our trauma in different ways…but ultimately, we never knew how to receive love fully. Me? I created expectations for love, knowing many wouldn’t be able to live up to them. Eventually, someone would make a mistake, and I’d never have to worry about being abandoned. Because I would do the abandoning.

“And you…you never felt you deserved the life you had. So, you gambled with it, then built a web of lies to hold onto it, terrified of me abandoning you. But we’re not there anymore. We’re here. With a power in knowing the past we’re up against…and knowing that shit doesn’t stand a chance against our parachutes.”

“Damn. Therapy got you talking ...

“Vin, there’s no hopes to get up. Because I’m here. I want to do the work. Do you?” Her soft voice questioned, a...

“She made me promise to give you all of the love that she never could.”

Too painful to have been a dream. Too outrageous not to have been a miracle. Real life. Real love. The kind made for parachutes.

“Promise you’ll never listen. Even if I’m awful. Even if we go through the worst things anybody can ever go through and I tell you to get the fuck out again,” Tahli rambled, still visibly high on whatever they’d pumped into her. “Promise me you won’t listen to me. You know me best, Vin. Promise me you’ll never give up even when I do. Promise you’ll never stop fighting. When I’m stubborn or if I run. If ever pull a Cree Autumn. Come and find me and remind me that we can get through anything. That you believe me when I say right now, there is nothing that will ever make me want to live without you.”

“Because that’s what parachutes is about, Vin. Not just about saving us from the fall but saving us from the impact. When we’re crashing to the ground too fast to stop it, the parachute is there to do it. So we never die. Our love can’t die, Dalvin.”

“It won’t die. That’s a fucking parachute promise.”

TAHLI. Thank you for being brave enough to tell your story. From a young girl to a woman, it all has been exposed to the world. Most don’t have their flaws, their thoughts, their insecurities, their trauma exposed. Thank you for allowing me to document your healing. Thank you for not running from the scary readers. Thank you for sacrificing to tell the story of your “parachute love”.

DALVIN. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to be honest with me. You held nothing back, and in turn, you were harshly judged for it. I appreciate you sacrificing becoming someone’s ideal of fiction perfection to instead show what real shortcomings, real struggle, real pain, and real redemption can look like. For love, there is no ceiling on who is worthy and who it’s possible for. Through it all, I never doubted your love for those you allow yourself to love and allow to love you in return.