Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway: How to Turn Your Fear and Indecision into Confidence and Action

by Susan Jeffers

Five Truths about Fear 1. The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow. 2. The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out … and do it. 3. The only way to feel better about myself is to go out … and do it. 4. Not only am I going to experience fear whenever I’m on unfamiliar territory, but so is everyone else. 5. Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness.

Taking responsibility means never blaming anyone else for anything you are being, doing, having or feeling.

Taking responsibility means not blaming yourself.

Taking responsibility means being aware of where and when you are NOT taking responsibility so that you can eventually change.

“What am I not doing in my life that I could be doing that I am blaming him for not doing for me?”

Taking responsibility means handling the Chatterbox.

You don’t have to hang out with enemies, even if they are within yourself.

Taking responsibility means being aware of payoffs that keep you “stuck.”

Taking responsibility means figuring out what you want in life and acting on it.

Taking responsibility means being aware of the multitude of choices you have in any given situation.

Positive thinking is one of the most difficult of all concepts to get across to people. When I present my ideas on positive thinking in my workshops and classes, my students respond immediately with “Oh, that’s not realistic!” When I question them about what makes negative thinking more realistic, they cannot give me an answer. There is an automatic assumption that negative is realistic and positive is unrealistic. Upon inspection, this is pure madness.

YOU’RE NOT A FAILURE IF YOU DON’T MAKE IT; YOU’RE A SUCCESS BECAUSE YOU TRY.

Very often your subconscious mind sends knowing messages as to which choice is better at a particular time. As you start paying attention to your impulses, you will be surprised at the good advice you are giving yourself.

Lighten up. We live in a world where most people take themselves and their decisions very seriously. I have news for you. Nothing is that important. Honestly! If as a result of a decision you make, you lose some money, no problem—you learn to deal with losing money. If you lose a lover, no problem—you find another one. If you choose to divorce, no problem—you learn to handle living on your own. If you choose to marry, no problem—you learn to handle a new kind of sharing. Start thinking about yourself as a lifetime student at a large university. Your curriculum is your total relationship with the world you live in, from the moment you’re born to the moment you die. Each experience is a valuable lesson to be learned. If you choose Path A, you will learn one set of lessons. If you choose Path B, you will learn a different set of lessons. Geology or geometry—just a different teacher and different books to read, different homework to do, different exams to take. It really doesn’t matter. If you take Path A, you get to taste the strawberries. If you take Path B, you get to taste the blueberries. If you hate both strawberries and blueberries, you can find another path. The trick is simply to make whatever place you’re in your educational forum and learn everything you can about yourself and the world around you. So—lighten up! Whatever happens as a result of your decision, you’ll handle it!

Each time the plane strayed off course, the system corrected it. The pilot explained that they would arrive in Hawaii on time in spite of “having been in error 90 percent of the time.” Emery takes it from there, stating: “So the path from here to where we want to be starts with an error, which we correct, which becomes the next error, which we correct and that becomes the next error, which we correct. So the only time we are truly on course is that moment in the zigzag when we actually cross the true path.” From the analogy, we see that the trick in life is not to worry about making a wrong decision; it’s learning when to correct! My concept of the model looks like this:

IT REALLY DOESN’T MATTER

SO WHAT! I’LL HANDLE IT!

Remember the two key ingredients: 100% commitment and acting as if you count.

WHEN WE GIVE FROM A PLACE OF LOVE, RATHER THAN FROM A PLACE OF EXPECTATION, MORE USUALLY COMES BACK TO US THAN WE COULD EVER HAVE IMAGINED.

Keep remembering that you are aiming to get to the point where you are the giver. When you are aware of the fact that “you have,” you can give. When you are a giver, you have nothing to fear. You are powerful and you are loving. The trick in life is not figuring out what you can get, but what you can give. There is so much power in this kind of thinking that it staggers the imagination.

This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one, the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making me happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and, as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I’ve got to hold up for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.

IF WE DO NOT CONSCIOUSLY AND CONSISTENTLY FOCUS ON THE SPIRITUAL PART OF OURSELVES, WE WILL NEVER EXPERIENCE THE KIND OF JOY, SATISFACTION AND CONNECTEDNESS WE ARE ALL SEEKING.