Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway: How to Turn Your Fear and Indecision into Confidence and Action

by Susan Jeffers

“Angels fly because they take themselves lightly.”

I

Remember that each time you get angry at yourself for an action you have taken, you keep yourself on the side of pain.

this: I’m really angry at my boss for not including me in the meeting this morning. He really doesn’t appreciate all the work I do for him. The others spend their day loafing and they get invited to the meeting. Maybe I’ll try loafing and see if he likes that better. It really doesn’t pay to give your all to a job. You never get rewarded for all the hard work. It just pays to be a big manipulator, like all the rest. An honest hard worker is just not appreciated any more. I’ll show him. I’ll look around for another job. But the job market is so lousy right now, I’d never find anything. I wish I had completed my master’s degree—then I’d have a better chance. I’m really stuck here … no one is hiring people over forty any more. It’s all in who you know. If my parents had had money, I would have been able to socialize with people who have some clout. I really feel used. I can’t believe they excluded me from the meeting. Who does he think he is? This kind of thing always happens to me….

As Marilyn Ferguson states in her magnificent book The Aquarian Conspiracy:

They have discovered that security is not having things; it’s handling things.

After Making a Decision 1. Throw away your picture. We all create expectations of what we would like to happen after a decision is made. The picture in our mind’s eye might have served a valuable function in helping to make a decision. But once the decision is made, let the picture go.

Actualizations, Stewart Emery presents an excellent model for changing your direction in life.

the trick in life is not to worry about making a wrong decision; it’s learning when to correct!

My concept of the model looks like this:

an upset in your life is beneficial, in that it tells you that you are off course in some way and you need to find your way back to your particular path of clarity once again.

Remember, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”

This tool is to “act as if” you really count. What

powerful tool into your daily life. Here are the steps:

Remember the two key ingredients: 100% commitment and acting as if you count.

ACTION IS THE KEY TO YOUR SUCCESS.

The problem with needy people is that they can’t take in anything around them.

By committing yourself 100% to your relaxation and “acting as if” your well-being counts, you can enjoy taking some time alone for yourself.

ONE OF THE most valuable lessons in learning to diminish fear is embodied in the phrase SAY YES TO YOUR UNIVERSE.

So often when we are all set to move in a specific direction, an unexpected event changes everything. Those unexpected events or even the possibility of the unexpected sets us up for a great deal of fear. We anticipate the worst. It is important to remember: IN SAYING “YES” LIES THE ANTIDOTE TO OUR FEAR. The phrase “say yes” means “to agree to” those things that life hands us.

I found the most extreme and moving example of saying yes in the pages of Viktor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning. It was given to me by a friend, who said “I think it’s really important for you to read this

I once heard it said that the key to life is not to figure out what you can get from the flow, but, rather, to figure out how to get into the flow.

Barry Stevens titled her book, Don’t Push the River (it flows by itself).

One of the most important lessons one has to learn in life is how to give, and therein lies an answer to fear.

Whereas this image represents the inner state of all frightened people, the outer manifestation can take on many forms:

WHEN WE GIVE FROM A PLACE OF LOVE, RATHER THAN FROM A PLACE OF EXPECTATION, MORE USUALLY COMES BACK TO US THAN WE COULD EVER HAVE IMAGINED.

Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life. She has many exercises that will help you release the anger, pain and resentment that you may be carrying around with you. I highly recommend it.

Don’t let an opportunity go by to thank someone who has given you something—anything at all.

Turn this around and begin giving others as much help as you can possibly give them.

and did it anyway. Some of the people I helped have become my good friends and part of my support system. Here, too, the giving has to be done with no expectations of return. More likely than not, however, the return will be enormous. One of my students asked what would have happened if one of them really had turned against me and used my information in a competitive way. My answer was, and is, that if I have enough belief in myself that I will “make it” no matter what anyone does, what is there to fear? It’s a matter of developing trust in yourself and in your universe. For some reason, when you become a support to others you become bigger than you are. Moreover, when people use what they have learned from you, your effect in this world is greatly magnified.

YOU MUST BECOME WHAT YOU WANT TO ATTRACT BE THE KIND OF PERSON YOU WOULD WANT TO SURROUND YOURSELF WITH.

One of my friends was aghast when her daughter, after opening fifty-two presents, said, “Is that all?”

Years ago I heard a great line in a Grade B movie: “Security is not having money; it’s knowing you can do without it.”

As Jerry Gillies, the author of Moneylove, says, “The rich spend money, the poor bank it.”

When we trust that someone can handle his own life, and act accordingly, that is giving away love.

As stated by Rollo May in Man’s Search For Himself, “Love is generally confused with dependence;

The Book of Abundance. Buy yourself a beautiful notebook, as expensive as you can afford. Start filling it by listing as many positive things in your life—past and present—as you can think of. Don’t stop until you reach 150.

I RELEASE MY FEAR OF LACK AND ACCEPT THE ABUNDANCE AND PROSPERITY OF THE UNIVERSE

The trick in life is not figuring out what you can get, but what you can give.

If you see that your purpose in life is to give, then it’s almost impossible to be conned.

This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one, the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making me happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and, as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I’ve got to hold up for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.

Have you ever looked beyond someone’s ugly behavior and felt only love for them as you saw their pain?

Books on developing the intuitive mind are available, and I recommend them. I have begun to rely so much on my Subconscious Mind that when I am troubled by something, I simply say, “I ask my Subconscious Mind to find the solution for me.”

Assagioli is the founder of psychosynthesis, an amazing model for self-integration and self-realization.

Now I want you to think of a goal that you have in life … a specific goal … and you know that FEAR is keeping you from moving forward toward that goal…. Now what I’d like you to do is to imagine yourself approaching that goal “as if” you had no fear….

The biggest pitfall as you make your way through life is impatience.

I have come to believe there are only two kinds of experiences in life: those that stem from our Higher Self and those that have something to teach us.

These individuals are more than their “flawed” behavior. They, too, have a magnificent interior place, which they haven’t discovered yet. Hence you’ll begin to feel their sadness and not be so harsh in your judgment.

And as long as we see ourselves as unfolding beings, there is no wish to go back one single day—and age becomes a beautiful thing.

The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams.