Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway: How to Turn Your Fear and Indecision into Confidence and Action

by Susan Jeffers

1. Simply recognize that you might be caught in a vicious circle. If you look carefully at your past, you will probably notice that every time negative feelings associated with loss came up, you took the very same pathway to try to relieve the discomfort: You tried to re-create that which you had lost. For example, what’s the first thing many of us do when we are devastated by the loss of a loved one? We simply substitute heads. And when the next love of our life leaves, we experience the same feeling of devastation (which is amazing, since we’ve only know this lover for three weeks). Then what do we do? It’s not hard to guess—we go out and find another “one and only” without whom we would simply die! If this or a similar pattern sounds familiar, it is important not to make a big thing out of it. Just recognize that up until now you simply did not have an appropriate framework within which to create a healthier way to act. The mere fact that you acknowledge the possibility of another way is enough to get you to the next step.