Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits (Zoey Ashe, #1)

by Jason Pargin

From the split in the crowd emerged first a huge black man, with a perfectly bald, polished head Zoey thought looked like a Whopper, the chocolate candy. She didn’t know if that was racist or not, but all of the progressive attitudes in the world wouldn’t change the fact that his head looked exactly like a Whopper.

She thanked the toilet, but it did not respond. That was good—if she started to think of it as a sentient being, it would probably be much harder to poop in its mouth.

one day he’ll find out his life is all wrapping paper and no gift.”